S:
Vic and I spend the next few weeks hanging out. We go to dinner, the movies, the park and one Saturday we even walked along the Santa Monica pier. It's nice and relaxing.
He doesn't pressure me into a relationship, and I don't egg it on, because I'm simply not ready to give myself away like that.
I'm also not ready for him to meet my children. They'll ask far too many questions and I already know that the answers are still up in the air. I don't know what Vic and I are... right now, we're just friends, but they wouldn't quite understand that. And if I've learned anything from 20/20, Dateline and Crime Stoppers- the mothers boyfriend always has something to do with it, so I'm cautious. It's not that I think Vic is crazy, but having two little kids is scary and I need to be aware of who I allow into their lives.
Even though I'm able to keep it from the kids, I do tell Lindsey about him, only because that seems fair. I wouldn't want him to hide another woman from me, so I know telling him about Vic is inevitable... even though I didn't really want to.
And he takes it well- he has to.
~~~
Sitting in bed, I try to read a couple of pages from a book I picked up earlier this week, but the sound of disorganized feet moving down the hallway gets all of my attention. I set the book on the nightstand, smiling lightly as I wait for them to come in and jump on my bed... our Sunday morning routines. Even when Lindsey has them, he brings them home in the morning so I can make breakfast for the four of us.
"Mommy!" They shout in unison as they do exactly what I had predicted- jump into bed next to me.
"Hello, my babies." I giggle as they each hug me around the neck and kiss my cheeks and Helena even gives my hair a nice tug for old times sake. "Where's your daddy?" I crease a brow, almost nervous that he didn't hang around.
"He is looking at the sink." Hudson's right next to me on the right, cuddled into my side as he plays with my earlobe.
I don't know why he does that, but that's been his spot ever since he was able to reach out and grab stuff... I'm actually surprised he hasn't asked me to take my earrings out yet- he hates them in.
"That's sweet of him, isn't it?" I smile gently, truly thankful for him.
Lindsey actually listens to me, even when I'm being difficult. We could be screaming out each other one night and the next day he'd still come to make sure the lock on the backdoor wasn't stuck, or whatever else I might be concerned about is taken care of. He's the most reliable, caring man I know and I could never ask for any one better than he is.
"Did you have a good weekend?" I lightly kiss the top of Hudson's curls, even though they've both turned all of their attention towards the television... the morning news must be fascinating for four year old brains.
"I think we had a great weekend," Lindsey's voice causes me to smile as I look up to see him standing in the doorway. "Except we missed mama, didn't we?" He smirks, winking at me softly.
"Daddy, come sit down." Helena taps the empty side of the bed... the side he slept on for the first couple months of their lives.
"Yes, come sit with us, my dear." I reach over, pulling the blanket back, as I pat the bed.
A second later, Helena falls on her dad's chest as I flip through the stations to find morning cartoons. It's moments like these that make it so hard for me to believe that we struggle so much. I know we love one another, but we just have a problem with openly sharing our emotions. I don't get it... I really do wish it could be easy, but love never is.
"Your hair looks good, did you get it done?" He's lying on his side now, arm now wrapped around Lena, who fell back asleep just as quick as Hudson.
I let out a chuckle as I nod my head in return. "I got it colored yesterday," Biting down on my bottom lip, I crease a brow. "I'm surprised you noticed." I am, because most men don't pay enough attention to detail.
I could have colored my hair blue and it probably would have taken Mark days realize it.
"Of course I can tell. I haven't been able to keep my eyes off of you for four years, there's nothing that'll slip by me." He smirks, which sends a flutter through my insides... butterflies.
He says the sweetest things at the most perfect moments. Like, here we are, laying in bed with our two children... seems so normal, so easy to understand, but it isn't.
"You know I love you, right?" I have to say it... I just want him to know that no matter how I act, how different we are and how simple it is to bump heads- I really do love him.
"I love you, Steph." He leans in, lips meeting my forehead.
~~~
L:
After a short nap, we all end up in the kitchen, helping Stevie make breakfast. It's hectic trying to make pancakes and bacon with two extra sets of hands that are slightly too little to do much, but it's still fun.
"Can I have chocolate in mine?" Hudson's sitting on the kitchen counter, legs dangling down as he watches his mother mix the batter.
"It's a little early..." She lingers, trying not to smile at how cute he is. "Of course, baby." She caves rather quickly... She always does when it comes to all four of her babies.
"What can I help with?" My hand settles on the small of her back, looking around her to see what else needs to be mixed or baked, or whatever.
"Can you set the oven, honey?" She asks, cocking her head back lightly as she stirs the blue berry muffin mix.
"You got it," I move back through the kitchen, jumping lightly when the sound of the house phone fills the room.
She sets everything down, wiping her hands off before picking it up. Her faces turns a bright shade of red as a weird smile tugs at the corners of her mouth... She's talking to him.
"Hudson, let's go hang out with Lena." I scoop him up, leaving her in the kitchen to flirt with some old guy she just met.
