The next couple of weeks come and go just like any other.
I throw myself back into work, while the kids get settled into their new normal. I don't really remember the first couple of weeks of my marriage, probably because it was the beginning of a living hell.
But anyway, Betsy called only two weeks after their wedding and asked if it was normal that Adam went to the bathroom while she was in the shower. It was hilarious, and that was the first of many more calls about all the weird things Adam does now that they're tied to one another.
They're entertaining, which is almost great because my life really isn't.
"How does this look?" Bridget stands in the middle of the kitchen, holding out her arms to show me her outfit.
She's wearing a leather jacket, black ripped up jeans and dark eye makeup, but that's nothing really abnormal for her.
"Lovely," I say it in an almost sarcastic tone, but I really try to refrain from doing so. "Where are you going?" I'm standing next to the counter, cradling a cup of coffee in one hand as I grip the morning paper in my other.
"I told you that I was going to that weekend camping thing." She slips further into the room to make herself a bowl of cereal.
"I remember now," I nod lightly, shaking my head at how expensive that was. It was like four hundred dollars without the hotel room and of course, I picked up the tab. "I thought you were leaving later in the evening?" I lean back slowly, letting out a yawn as she thinks about her next statement... I'm sure it'll be a lie.
"Well, the girls just wanted to get an early start and stuff." She shrugs as she collapses onto a chair at the island.
"Who's all going?" I raise a brow, almost enticed by what kind of lies the are going to come next.
She always thinks she can fool me, but she can't. The truth is, I always seem to let things slide, because when she's nineteen- there isn't much I can do. I can tell her that her actions aren't great and maybe she should try something different to create a healthier way of living, but I can't force anything. She is who she is, and my Bridget is a wild, carefree soul, who really isn't worried about anything besides having fun.
"It's gonna be Casey, Kate and a couple of other girls from work." She assures, eyes never meeting mine.
"I hope you have fun, but I also hope you make good choices and stay extra safe." Not only have I been reading plenty of books, but I've also been watching far too much television.
The news is absolutely terrible, which is why I find it so hard to let my two girls fly so freely. I know they're going to do whatever they want, but I truly wish they'd both slow down just a tad.
"I have my pepper spray- don't worry." She half smiles, only because she knows I'm slightly crazy and a little paranoid.
"Wonderful." I push myself away from the counter quickly, pouring my cold coffee down the drain before heading for the staircase. "My credit card is on the microwave- don't lose it." I shout as I begin my journey up the stairs.
I wish she would get her act together, I really do. Living at home, not in school and only working a part time job really isn't that ideal. She requires a lot of extra help, and I think that's where Mark and I bump heads the most.
He thinks I've cradled them their entire lives, but I don't think he's ever shown them enough affection. We've always been two very different types of people, which is probably why we just didn't work out in the end.
Getting upstairs, I quickly fluff my hair and check my appearance in the mirror one last time. I have my morning class, which is almost dreadful to me lately. I've been a little more tired than usual, which isn't great when I have to be ready to lecture at the crack of dawn.
"Ugh," I let out a huff, turning to the side to look at all my fat.
I don't know why, but I've been extra bloated the last couple of weeks, almost like I'm containing water or something like that.
I'm almost certain I'm going through my change in life... the one where God decides your youth is completely behind you and foreshadows death... at least that's what it seems like.
Menopause used to seem like these two golden gates that lead the way into retirement, Florida winter homes and a work free life, but now it feels like I'm knocking on the back door of a nursing home.
It's a little past seven in the morning when I make my way through the building on the far end of campus. It's a long stretch, but there's always been something beautiful about my office- I think it might be the stain glass windows.
But today they don't seem so great. I want to go back home, slide back into bed and call it a day, but I know I can't do that so I might as well make the best of if.
"Good morning, Professor Jones." Ben gives me a wave as he enters into the classroom.
"Morning!" Adam smiles as he travels close behind his friend.
"Good morning, boys." I can't help but laugh, only because they're probably the two most lively people I've ever met this early in the morning.
I greet a bunch of other students as I wait patiently for the lecture hall to fill up. Once the clock strikes eight, I start going into the rubric for their next essay that's due in only a couple of weeks.
"It's a simple writing," I slouch to one side, scrolling through my power point to find the list of expectations. "It's about you, your wants, your needs and your future goals." Within a split second my head starts pounding and I grow incredibly warm. "It's only worth a hundred points and..." I pause as I watch the room start to spin around me like I'm on a roller coaster.
And then everything goes dark and I hit the ground with a thud.
