S:
Driving down PCH, my adrenaline has shot completely through the roof. I can't think straight- I really can't, and the fact that Lindsey is stuck in a meeting and can't take any calls just seems to add to how nervous I am.
I don't know what to do, so I end up driving through the city, hoping that I just catch a glimpse of them anywhere. In my mind, she couldn't have gone that far with my children, only because she just picked them up about twenty minutes ago... Where could they have gone?
I don't know Tammy, and to think that for a moment I felt bad for her is beyond me- any sympathy I might have had for her is completely gone. I don't know what she's thinking, or what she plans to do, but I can only assume the worst. I can only imagine how much hate she must have for Lindsey and I to take our children like this.
Take the people we created without us consenting is so infuriating and horrifying... just the thought of her with my kids makes me angry to no extent.
Driving through the park, I scan over all the cars and even all the kids, trying to find mine. For a moment, as my tears fall down my cheeks and my heart slowly breaks into a million pieces- I have this realization that I could be crazy. They could be anywhere and I may never know where that is. I might never have my babies back just because I didn't make it there soon enough.
"No!" I scream, hitting the steering wheel forcefully.
I'm mad at myself. I am so mad that I didn't move fast; maybe I should have ran another stop light. Maybe I should have sped, or ended my class early... I should have been there ten minutes before school even ended. It's my fault they got into the car with someone that used to be in their lives.
It only takes me a moment to get some sort of bearings on and then I speed towards Lindsey house on the coast, praying she took them there. Maybe she just wants to pretend like everything is how it was just weeks ago... maybe I'll get lucky in a weird way and she didn't have it in her heart to do something awful to two innocent little babies.
They didn't ask for this. They didn't ask to be brought into this confusing, sick, horrifying world.
I can hear the sound of gravel hitting the car the moment I meet the end of his driveway, but the ringing of my phone causes me to hit the breaks.
"Hello?" My heart is pounding as I wait for the person on the other end.
"Stevie, I just made it to your house and the kids are here." Lori was one of the first people I called, because I knew she would be there. She would be just as frantic, just as serious about this as I am. And I was right.
"Oh my god," more of my tears fall as I try to catch my breath. "Are they okay?" Bringing my hand up to chest, I can feel the thump of my heart pumping like crazy.
"Yes, honey. They're both fine- just come home, okay? We'll be right here." She has this soft tone, probably because she knows how worried I was. I was so scared that I had really lost those two humans.
"Thank you, Lori." I hang up, throwing the phone in the seat next to me.
~~~
Stepping into the house, I quickly run through the foyer. I let out content sigh when I see Helena and Hudson sitting at the kitchen table, eating ice cream.
