S:
After sleeping on it for a whole week, I finally cave and call Lindsey.
I couldn't get over what the girls had said about me being so 'difficult,' and though I still think I've actually been pretty laid back- I don't want him to think otherwise. Even though this just isn't that ideal for me, I still have to remind myself that these children are half his.
I wouldn't have them if it weren't for him, so I want him to know that he is definitely going to be part of their lives... with a girlfriend, or without a girlfriend.
I also spend a couple of days pondering my ideas for a nursery. That was my favorite part with both of my girls, and I already have this yearning to get to decorating. And though I would never admit it aloud, it is kind of hard when the gender is still up in the air. But I have to promise myself that I'll wait- I have to wait. I'm sure it's exciting to know exactly what to expect, but it's thrilling the moment that cry fills the room and they tell you what kind of soul you just brought into the world.
There's nothing like that.
"Look at how cute this is!" Bridget holds up a little pink tutu, a big smile on her face.
"Very cute," I let out a laugh, one hand resting on my tummy.
Being more than half way through this pregnancy is kind of insane, mostly because it feels like they're just going to fall right out.
It's weird having two in there- I can definitely tell a difference. My hands are constantly plastered onto my stomach to try and hold them up because I have never been this big.
"What if they aren't girls?" I smirk lightly, watching as she sets the outfit back on the rack.
"Well you can only hope you don't get two more misfits." She smiles back, eyes soft.
She knows she isn't a 'misfit.' Of course, she isn't- she's perfect to me.
"Oh, stop it." Rolling my eyes, I take her hand in mine to guide her back out of the store and into the mall.
She laughs as her arm intertwines with mine. "I've actually been doing a lot of thinking..." she pauses for a moment, which causes me to worry immediately.
She's a wise girl, very much so. But sometimes when she starts thinking, the outcome is wild.
"What is it, honey?" I frown, because I have this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach... and it isn't just the two babies bouncing around in there.
"I've been thinking about enlisting in the Army." She announces in a tone that's so serious... more serious than I think I've ever heard her.
"The Army?" My heart starts beating at a ridiculous rate.... the Army is a stressful, scary thing. "Why?" I have to wonder, because she's never talked about the Army.
She was never even enrolled in sports throughout high school... I don't think she really knows that she has to go through boot camps, drills, and all kinds of other workout stuff to be part of the Army.
"I don't want to go back to school, and I know I can't keep working just part time." She shrugs, a sigh following her words. "I just need to get away and do something that's good." That's probably the most wonderful thing that's left her mouth in a long time... even though this isn't necessarily my first choice for finding good.
