S:
The next couple of weeks go much smoother than I had anticipated.
I don't have any more out of the ordinary episodes and I even start to gain weight... A lot of weight, which I can assume means everything is working like it's supposed to.
If I'm getting bigger, that means my babies are getting bigger and that's what I want. I want strong, healthy babies.
As for, Lindsey and I, we end up going to the next appointment together, where I learn that one of the babies has a minor heart defect.
They told me not to worry about it too much, but I obviously don't listen to that.... I have to worry about it, because it's just too hard not to.
The heart...? Of all things? That is one of the top scariest things in the world to have a complication with.
Anyway, I also spend a little more time trying to get to know Lindsey. He tells me a little bit about his life, leaving out the fact that he has a girlfriend... but I know he does. I don't necessarily know if it's serious, but I know there's someone. I can sense it, but I would never ask about it.
I might be pregnant with his offsprings, but that doesn't make me in charge of what he's doing. It isn't my business.
Overall, we're still pretty distant. I have never invited him into my home even though he's picked me for lunch, and dinner a couple of times. And he has never invited me over to his home, probably because he knows I won't like the way he lives.
I'm not trying to be judgmental, but I am very much so a realist. If he's a bachelor, like he says he is, I suspect that he probably doesn't live the sort of life I'm used to.
I imagine a two bedroom condo, or penthouse with a bunch of unpacked boxes from two years ago, only a couple of real kitchen utensils and just pickles in the refrigerator... Maybe mustard too, but not much else.
I truly think that we are just different and not in a great way. There's like the perfect kind of different and the dangerous kind of different... I don't think we share one of those cheesy puzzle piece relationships, not in the slightest.
Also, In the weeks following our argument... if you'd even call it that, Betsy and I don't talk once. She doesn't call me, and the few phone calls I tried were useless. She ignored all of them, but that's fine. It really is, because I know I can't have that sort of stress weighing me down... Not when I have two babies to be healthy for.
Besides, after reading through multiple books on what I should expect during this journey, the more confident I feel with my decision to block out her negativity.
~
"Do you want to do breakfast, or lunch... or both?" He smirks lightly, eyes still glued on the road ahead.
"We can do lunch after." I let out a chuckle as I turn slowly to look out the passenger side window.
I have to hand it to him- he really is a gentlemen.
He picks me up willingly, he always walks ahead to open the door, and he even calls quite regularly to check in on me and the babies. He really cares and I appreciate that more than I think he realizes. But that doesn't make this all that easy for us.
