S:
I stand there for a long moment, trying to read his mind... but I truly don't know him well enough to do that. I can assume that he's going crazy, or maybe he's thinking of some way to let me down easy. I don't know- he might want babies, but something tells me that he really wants me to just disappear, and at the moment, I think that's a good idea.
"I have a meeting to get to," he exhales, eyes still stuck on me. I don't know if he's trying to see through me, or if he's trying to wake himself up from the nightmare he probably thinks he's stuck in. "You are more than welcome to hang out here until I get back, or-"
"I think I'm gonna go home." I roll my eyes at myself mostly as I turn around to head out the door.
"Stevie, wait." His voice sounds weird, maybe even a little sad, or distraught... like I said, I don't know.
Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I halfheartedly turn back to face him.
I'm embarrassed, far beyond that actually. I've never been in a situation as uncomfortable as this is, which is strange because I was married to Mark for twenty-five years.
I wish this could be over, really. I wish he'd just tell me that he wants nothing to do with me or the babies... Maybe it'll be one of those situations where they try to track him down in twenty years.
I don't know, but I don't want this. I don't want him to look at me like this.
"Let's trade numbers, okay? I want to talk more. And I'm really sorry that I'm in such a rush this morning." He sounds genuine, almost like he really feels bad, but at the same time- I'm not so sure. "Actually, I can cancel the meeting and-"
"No, don't do that." I cut him off, only because I need personal time to think as well.
I'm sure he isn't completely ready to just jump into this whole role as... as whatever this is, and neither am I.
Sighing lightly, he holds out a sticky note for me to write my number on while he does the same.
And then I'm just reminded of how messed up this really is. Here I am, switching phone numbers with the father of my unborn kids- it's sick. A part of me doesn't know if he'll actually call, but I really hope he does.
It might take him a few days...or maybe eighteen years, but we'll see. And either, it's effort.
It isn't long until I trail back down the long hallway full of offices, praying I can dodge Mark and Adam- who are both lurking around here somewhere. But my luck seems to have diminished completely the last couple days.
"Steph?" Mark's voice comes from one of the offices, which causes me to roll my eyes immediately.
What did I do to deserve this? Really.
"Hi," I wave lightly, watching as he hurries out of his office- the same office he's been in since the girls were little.
"What are you doing here?" He smiles softly, and it's so pathetic, I just want to smack him.
"I brought Adam his lunch. Betsy is working today, and he forgot it." That isn't a complete fabrication, because sometimes Adam really does forget his lunch, but Betsy always brings it.
