S:
"She talked to you like that?" Lori shakes her head softly, a disgusted look plastered to her face.
I called her early this morning, and she insisted that she come check on me. And I had to tell her, because I tell her everything.
"I knew she was going to be mad," I did, because it's her personality.
It's not that she can never be happy for other people, but she does struggle with it sometimes.
"You should have seen the look in her eyes- I thought she was going to fly through the roof." I set a cup of coffee down in front of her and then I slide back into my chair at the table.
She gives me a sympathetic smile as she sighs lightly. "She'll get over it, Stevie. She is just so hard headed, you know that." She says it, and I want to believe that, but I can't.
Her words actually hurt, and Betsy is one of those people who doesn't realize that.
But last night as I laid awake and thought about everything- I realized that forgiving her for her choice of words would mean I had accepted it. And I just can't do that.
Betsy will always be my daughter, but I believe that everything happens for a reason and these babies picked me as their mother for a reason. I need to be there for them and seeing that I was there for Betsy's whole childhood, my job is basically done.
She's a grown up, and she knows better, which is why I find it easier to get over it than I would have before. I have never wanted to have that sort of isolated relationship with my girls, but I can't help it if that's what she wants.
If she doesn't want me in her life, then I'll try my best to love her from afar.
My eyes feel heavy as I lean a little further into the chair. "She just makes me sad. That's all." I shrug lightly, even her negativity hurt me more than I'd like to admit.
"How was dinner?" She changes the subject, which I'm thankful for.
"He has a girlfriend," I tell her as I gently wrap my hand around my warm cup.
Her mouth falls open, a swift eye roll as well. "He told you that?"
I can't help but laugh, because she's so dramatic sometimes. "No, he didn't tell me that... I just know he does." There was something in the back of my mind that kept telling me that he wasn't as available as he made it seem.
He's tied to something, maybe loosely but still attached. And I'm certain it's a woman.
"Oh my God!" Her hand meets her chest as she lets out a laugh as well. "Why do you do this to yourself?"
"I don't know, Lori." I wish it was easier to explain, but it isn't.
It's complicated, confusing and though I confine in her willingly, I know she just doesn't totally understand.
"Let's go to the mall and maybe find you some stretchy pants." She smirks, only because I was just complaining about how tight my pants already are and I'm only eight weeks... This is going to be hell for my poor body.
"Sounds good," I wink lightly, pushing myself out of the kitchen chair. "Give me half an hour, honey." We both giggle, because I'm still in my pajamas from last night.
I was up early, called her and before I got out of bed- she was at my door, ready to sooth me as best she knows how.
Getting to my bedroom, I pull open the closet to look for something loose, but cute at the same time. I've decided that comfort is beyond important nowadays, because I sure as hell will not be all that adorable in about six and a half months. I was huge with the girls... I'm scared to know how big I'm going to get with two in there. I'll probably blow up like a big blimp and literally just float through the air.
__________
Lori:
As I wait for her in the kitchen, I start scanning over the morning paper. But before I get too far into the obituaries- my favorite part, the sound of someone's feet hitting the kitchen floor causes me to look up. It's Bridget, standing by the island in an oversized Yankee jersey and a pair of knee high socks.
"Hi, auntie." She slides around the hard wood floors to pull open the refrigerator.
"You look so pretty." I smile lightly, because that's true. She's gorgeous- inside and out, even if she's a tad on the wild side.
"I've missed you," She lets out a small laugh as she pours orange juice into a glass. "How's mom?" She leans to one side, holding her glass in one hand as her arm wraps lazily around herself.
She looks like a young Stevie with that long light brown hair, that distinctively shaped nose and the big brown orbs.
"Betsy really hurt her feelings," My heart actually hurts for Stevie, because this isn't fair for her.
She's given the girls the best life they could have ever imagined and I really want to tell Betsy to grow up. I love her, don't get me wrong, but her mother deserves to be treated much better than that.
A second after the words leave my mouth, Stevie's standing in the doorway. She looks pale, almost like she just saw a ghost which scares me immediately. "I need to go to the hospital." She announces as her hand softly meets her tummy.
I quickly stand up, while Bridget grabs her car keys off the counter. "What happened?" She's also in a panic, more so than I've ever seen her.
Bridget is a very laid back, carefree girl and if she's worried- we should all be worried.
"Something is wrong..."
