Walking In Your Fleeting World || Dazai Osamu

Chapter-24: To take my hand

Dazai's retribution

-Riki's POV-

You're gonna be fine.

I take in a deep breath. My black boots tap on the tiled ground as I walk behind the woman I met a while ago.

I'm gonna be fine? How?

I fix the already-perfect black necktie wrapped around my white shirt's collar. My buttoned-up black suit, knee-length black skirt, and black stockings— everything is picture-perfect. Except for me— I'm the only thing that's not perfect.

"Are you nervous Akutagawa-kun?" The lady asks. She's quite tall, wearing a white formal blouse and brown dress pants. Probably in her mid-30s "You're gonna be fine."

Yeah, that's what Nii-san said, say something original I beg you.

"Ah- th-thank you." I worthlessly stutter and immediately curse myself. Dammit, why does my voice sound so miserable? I rub my neck, "It's just that I- am too young for high school..."

"You're just a year younger. Special cases like you exist, so don't think you'll stand out too much." Her smile is apparent in her affectionate tone, "We're just glad you're joining us."

Glad, or the mafia threatened you?

"Ease up, this is nothing frightening." She goes through the brown-ish door on her left before I can reply to her. Instantly the classroom fills up with cheerful greetings.

Oh God, just take me already... 

I draw in a long breath. Should I enter now, or later? Why didn't she explain further? Is this even my class? Am I even in the right school? Is this even the right time-

"Akutagawa-kun?" The teacher calls out.

"Ah- Yes!" I quickly walk inside and stand beside the teacher.

She explains my situation to the class and asks me to introduce myself.

"I'm Akutagawa Riki. You can call me Riki. I hope we get along." I bow at the students. 

There are thirty-one students in the classroom. The fourth seat on the third row is empty, that's probably mine. A dark-haired boy sitting on the second-row fourth seat twists his lips slightly, leaning forward to the light brown-haired boy with gold-rim glasses to whisper something. 

"Chikara huh? Male huh? Dumbass!" He whispers loudly.

The other boy looks displeased as he almost mumbles, "It's not even Ryoku dumbass. Both of us were wrong."

I hold my laughter inside. Fyodor isn't the only one having trouble reading my name, huh? Good to know.

Some girls from the back wave at me, cheery smiles flashing on their lips. Should I wave at them or should I just let it be? Are they waving at me? It's not logical they'd wave at the teacher... I'm overthinking too much. I take in a deep breath and I wave at them, smiling slightly.

The teacher shows me the vacant seat, "You can take your seat."

I take my sit wordlessly. The class starts as I look at the round red clock hanging on the wall. I'm stuck here for almost seven hours. Odasaku said it's better than working, but I have my doubts. The doubts intensify when 'Japanese language (I)' starts. No matter how much I try to pay attention, not even a single word gets inside my brain. I probably left my brain at home.

It's been one week since I failed to save Masato-san. That day, I jumped into Odasaku's embrace. Tears flowed out relentlessly as I hugged him. I pressed my face on his chest and blurted out utter gibberish for the first few minutes.