Walking In Your Fleeting World || Dazai Osamu

Chapter-37: For the dawn that exists somewhere

Stupid

-Neutral POV-

Annoyance? Irritation? Vexation? Chagrin? Which word can describe this emotion waging war inside his head flawlessly— Dazai doesn't clearly know.

That pesky idiot, why did he have to call out to them? They have eyes, doesn't he know that? From where they were standing, they could see everything clearly, that's why they went up there in the first place! And they were notified once just minutes ago!

A sudden impulse makes Dazai almost kick the metal railing of the stairs they're walking down, but he holds back every ounce of it, concealing it perfectly under his mask of indifference. After all, he's the type to have his temper under control no matter the situation. But the thing is— this is a situation he has never been in, nor has he ever imagined he'd be in.

First of all, why did he attempt that? This was neither the time nor the place to try such a thing, nor was he prepared for it in any way. On top of that, her younger brother —who happens to be his student— was in the area! Furthermore, he knew the mission had ended and the men he sent inside would come out at any moment! Then why?

Second of all, why did he attempt that? Just why? Okay, maybe he likes her, but he's in no state in any way possible to make that step! The way he is right now— if any guy with such traits even dared to think about approaching her, he'd shoot that guy in the head mercilessly and repeatedly until the magazine had no bullet left inside.

Third of all, why did he attempt that? He wasn't even supposed to-

No, for this one, the fault isn't his. It's the girl walking right beside him— busy wearing the mask and the sunglasses at the same time with shaky hands— 's fault. 

Dazai looks at her fixedly, his uncovered eye twitching in annoyance. She started all this, didn't she? Saying that; then running off at the speed of light; staying missing for over three hours until Odasaku caught her from Ango's hotel; showing up in front of him all jumpy and scared in the morning; and after spending just a few hours with him— all of that, just gone? And he's out here, hasn't slept in over 48 hours, freaking out inside his mind as if he made the first step?! Why does he have the shorter end of the stick when she is the one who confessed? How is that even possible?

No, it is possible, if you're stupid. Bet she believed something utterly idiotic like: "He didn't hear me", and moved on with her day.

How could he not hear you, stupid?! Even the desperate attempt at fooling himself "he heard wrong" fell apart when your idiot self decided to ditch the guards and disappear without a trace!

Maybe he should've held her accountable for that action, then instead of him suffering alone, she'd suffer right next to him instead of being so—

The temple of her sunglasses tangles with the mask's string; as she tries to pull out the glasses the hinge gets attached to some of her hair.

Unfathomably oblivious.

Dazai closes his eyes to let out a harsh breath; stopping in his tracks. She halts instinctively, looking at him confusedly; one of her hands tightly gripping the glasses and the mask's other string, the other trying to rip off the strand of hair that got caught inside the hinge.

"Let me help." He murmurs, bringing out his hands from his pockets.

"Eh?" She manages to say as he reaches out, tucking a strand of her hair behind her right ear. He takes off the string that's still attached to the ear and frees it; the stuck hair comes off easily when he bends the sunglasses' temple slightly.