ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴛʟʏ ᴘᴇʀɪꜱʜ

that funny feeling

april 14

omniscient

san antonio was greatly warm today, the sun allowing everyone to be out and about. 
people filled the streets with smiles on their faces, short-cropped shirts with shorts covering most girl's bodies as they walked with friends with not a care in mind.

billie wanted to take advantage of this oh-so-beautiful day, and since dawn had been sulking recently, billie thought it be great to get fresh air. plus with dawns surgery being at the end of the month, she knew dawn wouldn't be able to be in the moment as much as she'd liked her to be.

at first, dawn was open to the idea, because during sunrise the couple sat along the beach in lull silence, dawns head resting in her girlfriend's lap.
but when billie mentioned she had more planned, she lost her bright spirit.  "please dawn, you've been in the house too much" billie begged, "i don't know billie" dawn sighed.

truthfully, this would be the first time dawn had been somewhere besides the hospital and the beach with no hair. and she knew no one was gonna laugh and point at her for having no hair but she felt ugly without it— and if she felt ugly then no one else could convince her otherwise, not even billie.

and it was not only her hair that bothered dawn, it was also her body. since her skin is so bright in some places, you could see the bruising which she hated most of all.
overall, dawn didn't want anyone to see her.

now, billie was spraying on some cologne, and fixing her hair as dawn stood behind her with a bright yellow sundress on.
her arms crossed over herself as she couldn't help but peer away from the mirror.

"dawn come here," billie said, dawn obliged.

billie wrapped the necklace around her neck, noticing the way dawn looked at her feet.

billie knew dawn was struggling with her image, and she felt bad because she knew that a billion "pretty girls"s would not even solve this— as much as dawn adored that nickname.

"baby," billie says, dawn hums.

"why are you making that face?"

"what face?"

"this one" billie mocked her girlfriend's expression playfully, hoping to crack a smile from the girl.

dawn only let one side of her lip tug upwards, letting it fall not even a second after. dawn knew she could loosen up a bit, and stop being so bitter to the person that's been caring for her all this time but her blood was slowing boiling just from looking at herself.

it started when she got in the shower and got bad when she was trying to put on makeup, and it got worse when she was putting on that god-awful yellow dress.

dawn just wished, that for today she could be someone else.
that she could pretend a little longer.

"billie" dawn finally speaks, "yes mon amour" billie answers.

despite calling her lover's name, dawn didn't have anything to say. well, she did, but, she completely trashed that question the second she called billies name.

instead, she pushed past her throat burning and closing and put on perfume, as well as her sandals.

billie grabbed hold of her hand with a smile as they walked out the front door.
-
billie took dawn to the bookstore first and after they shared an ice cream. then billie took dawn shopping, letting her buy anything she wanted in the mall.
now they sit at a park bench as the sun begins to finally set, cooling down the warm air that once accompanied them.