ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴛʟʏ ᴘᴇʀɪꜱʜ

time wont wait, but i will

may 9

omniscient

surprisingly, it was rainy today in san antonio yet the couple paid zero minds to the weather.
it had been about a week since dawn's surgery and she was finally home though she was still quite— sluggish, billie didn't care.

with the help of billie, dawn was sitting on the couch with their cat jinx watching the movie "the emperor's new groove."

that's basically what dawns been doing all day, falling asleep and watching movies. she didn't want to talk much, nor be touched, or even be kissed and still billie didn't mind.
because by the looks of dawns skinny face, sunken eyes, and slow movements, billie wanted nothing more for her to just be comfortable.

so if she did not want to talk, or be touched then so be it.
the one thing billie didn't stand for was dawn not wanting to eat nor take her medicine, so despite dawns request for zero food, billie was baking cinnamon rolls that dawn seemed to not be able to resist.

"could you feed jinx," dawn said her first words in about an hour "she hasn't eaten."
"yeah sure," billie said, stopping what she was doing to give the cat some oddly smelling food in a can.

"you haven't eaten either baby," billie said cautiously "i made some cinnamon rolls."

dawn glanced up at her girlfriend as she began to walk towards her, their cat running through billies legs as the new food smell finally reached her nose.
dawn stared at billie wondering why she even tried to help her. wondering why billie burdened herself with her.

dawn was in pain all over, everything hurt, her head banged and she could "hardly fucking breathe" in her words.
and she knew that physically, billie wouldn't be able to help but she hoped that mentally billie would come and calm her thoughts down for just a moment.

with that being said, she reached up slowly to wrap her arms around billies neck. billie got the message, sitting down on the couch to engulf dawn in a hug.

dawn let tears slip from her eyes because she honestly couldn't help it. she loved billie.

they hug in silence until jinx decided it was time to interrupt their sweet moment by jumping in billies lap and clawing at her shirt.

she laughs "you want some attention too," billie says petting the kitten. dawn stares at billie yet again with not a word as she zoned out. she thought of how she must look at this moment; dead and zombie-like. she thought of how billie looked; vibrant and beautiful and wondered how she's supposed to hate the universe when billie is the universe.

she wonders how she's supposed to hate the universe for putting her through this, for making her feel useless when billie looks as if she's been hand-crafted by the gods herself.
and no matter how hard she tries to hate it, she can't because seeing billie, and experiencing her as a whole is enough to make up for all the bad.

"i'm so in love with you" dawn whispered, more to herself yet a part of her wanted billie to hear.
billie snaps her head toward her, "huh?"

"nothing" dawn smiles as she watches billies face turn a bright red. she leans back on the couch as billie says "no you said something, what was it?"

"when" dawn acted clueless just to tease billie. she felt she'd been too much of a bore, and wanted to cheer herself up.
"dawn" billie dragged out "just now when you were looking at me. what'd you say?"

"oh i said nothing" she laughed, billie groaned "before that!"

"oh" dawn dragged out playfully, "i said im so in love with you."

billies face was bright tomato red and dawn couldn't help but laugh at her. "you don't love me? disappointing" she joked.

"no, no," billie says "i definitely love you! this is just like— stop looking at me, you're making my stomach hurt!"

dawn couldn't help but laugh "i cant look at you?"
"no" billie said, laughing as she turns her back towards dawn.

"billie, i just confessed my love for you, and you're treating me like this" dawn sighed dramatically.
"shut up dawn" billie giggled, turning back around to see her girlfriend laughing.

billie smiles at dawns sudden change of mood, it made her feel better about their entire situation.
"can you eat something now" billie begged, "if you love me, then you'll eat something."

dawn rolled her eyes playfully at billie, "fine."

billie giggled and went to grab dawn a cinnamon roll, which she'd decided to warm up since it was probably cold now.
when done she handed it to dawn, also including water and her meds.

billie truly was the happiest she'd ever been, with her girlfriend in recovery, and a pet to call their own, she couldn't believe that their future was set back on track.
i mean that's what billie believed but dawn didn't know if she was "all better" as billie put it, truthfully dawn knew deep down that she was actually getting worse, despite the surgery.

because dawn knew death didn't wait for anyone, she knew time didn't wait, so if death wanted her dead tomorrow then she'd be dead and billie couldn't do a damn thing about it.

as she took a bite of her cinnamon roll, smile on her face as billie stared at her with the most adoration possible she thought about how she'd wait for billie, no matter how hard it got— dawn would hold on until her body lost color and her breaths fell short.

939 words