NADIA|COMPLETED|

37; New Version.

Two Months Later...

I've messed up big time and I knew that, and fact that I couldn't do anything about it but spend the rest of my life in regret. I've hurt and snatched his source of joy away even pained more.

I wish I was the one but her, it wasn't a happy ending she deserved, it wasn't supposed to end this way but what could I change?

Nothing, absolutely nothing.

It's been a week since I woke up, things have changed a lot more than I thought. Maa said not for once had he come to visit, last time they saw him was the 3rd day of the Adu'a.

I will be lying if I say I'm not worried about him coz I definitely am. Where could he have gone? What state is he in? I'm sure he doesn't even wanna see me again the thought made my eyes sting.

I run on my silent bump breaking into sobs. Yeah, that's right, I'm pregnant. I don't deserve to be a mother not when I had caused a huge distance from a child and his mum. If not for my recklessness mum would have still been here with us.

Ugh!

"Nadia" Fatima calls ripping me out of my train of thought.

"This isn't good for you"

I fought back a hiss of frustration, they wouldn't understand how I feel, must be why, they should try to put themselves in my shoe.

She sighed, "You're getting discharged today, the driver would be here any moment from now"

I gave her a curt nod before she exited the room. I was a burden to them all, Ama passed away two weeks after Mum's departure, it was hidden away from me somehow I found out from Maa after a conversation we had.

She suffered a stroke after breaking the news of her daughter's death and the person responsible for it. She spent a week plus unstable and drained, before she chose her way out, out from the beautiful lie called Dunya.

Fatima assisted me in getting the car after the arrival of the driver making sure to do all the necessities before we left.

"Take me home" I blurt out of the blue taking my stare out of the window.

"Yes, we're going home."

"Not that, my home"

"What? No of course no—"

"Fatima please"

"No Nadia, I can't do that, we're going—"

"Audu" I called he answered with a yes ma'am, "Take me to Asokoro"

"Na—" I waved her off before she completed her statement having enough of her bossiness, I've lived it for a while now.

*•*

"Why didn't you come?" I asked my lashes getting wet. I knew he'd be here, I just had this nagging feeling that there is no place he finds solace than home, our home.

He remained stiff still having his back to me. I wanted to run to him and get lost in his comfort but the hell I am doing that, not when I have carved a deep scar on his heart, body, and soul.

The silence fit the tension the room exerted, if I hadn't noticed the AC is on, I'd probably thought there was no source of fresh air. The room is dark, very dark yet there was still a little bit of lighting that allowed me to get a view of him.

I want to apologize but I don't know if it is the right time to do that or would he even be ready to listen to what I have to say, does he even have my time? Or wait, does he even want to see me?

"Ammar this wasn't supposed to happen, I should have listened to you. It wasn't supposed to be mum, not her not Ama, but me. I know I am unworthy of your forgiveness and you probably despise—"

"You should leave" His tune sent tingles to my feet, it was calm yet ablaze and daunting.

"Hear me out" I blurt chewing on my lower lip as I begin to make my way toward him.

"Nadia, leave"

His words only encourage me to go further and when I was a step away from him he turned forcefully pinning me to the nearest wall with his hands clutched to my neck.

I would be lying if I say it wasn't the most terrifying moment of my life. I've never seen so much emotion in one's eyes and def, not his eyes. My lips quiver bringing my hand up to his trying to pull it off but to no avail, he was choking me.

He inches closer, "Don't make me do this"

I broke into sobs squinting my eyes in fear, minutes later I began to feel him lose his grip urging my eyes open, I saw a glint of worry and concern that had always been there.

"I'm sorry"

"Will it bring her back?"

"—No"

"Then it's of no use"

"This is all my fault"

He remained mute boring his eyes into mine, "Why can't I hate you?"

"I'm sorry"

"This isn't your fault but mine, I've never regretted being with you than I have now. If only I hadn't gotten myself meddled up to you" he spoke in pure bitterness. "But you know what?"

His words pierced each part of my heart.

"I still fucking love you so much that letting go will mean losing myself to you, so now I have to live with you or wait...no, you have to leave with this version of me, all of me. So that next time whenever I refrain you from something then you wouldn't have to think twice before doing the right thing." He laughed.

Wait, I took a second sniffing the now-registered smell my nose scrunching in disgust.

He was drunk.

~

No! I wasn't done😂 calm down.

So what now? Should he forgive her or not?

3more to go.

Faixatuu.