Twenty Seven. Complicated

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I tried to talk myself out of kissing her

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I tried to talk myself out of kissing her. I failed. I can easily handle innocent kisses, it's when my tongue teased her bottom lip and she sighed against me as her tongue met mine that I knew for sure I was done for. Just as the kiss started to deepen and was suddenly taken to the next level the buzzer sounded. Saved by the bell, literally. She buzzed the pizza delivery guy up and I handed him a hundred dollar bill even though Everleigh protested when I told her jokingly I was making her buy me dinner. That would never happen, I'm not built that way. We settle in on her couch as One Direction songs continue to fill the space and I almost laugh at how surreal this is at this moment. I can't say I've ever sat and listened to my old band's songs with a girl on a date before. First time for everything I guess.

"How did you feel when the band ended?" She asks in between bites of pizza. I'd been asked that question numerous times before in interviews, and I'd give some sort of answer that always felt scripted. In a way it was scripted. I knew I could be myself in this moment with her though.

"I was ready I think. A mixture of feelings really. I was ready, but at the same time I was terrified and unsure of myself. I really didn't think anyone would want to listen to me on my own." I admit.

"Look at you now. Kinda a big deal Harry." She laughs as she nudges her arm against my own.

"I'm just lucky I think." I admit.

"I like that you're humble. Takes a lot more than luck Harry. I don't know a lot about your career obviously, but I know you've worked really hard. Your schedule seems insane." She laughs.

"I like to stay busy. I think I may have taken it a bit too far this time though. " I laugh as I think of the insane schedule I had created for myself. That same schedule that I was beginning to regret in this moment. I had NO idea I'd be in this position right now. Having just met someone that I'd love to have time with. Having met her and then having to suddenly leave her and go across the world, that's karma being a bit of a cockblock isn't it?

"Where's your favorite place to visit?"

"Japan. I love going there. Just something about it I can't explain. I always thrive creatively there too. It's stunning. Ever been there?" I finish eating and turn to face her now.

"No, I haven't. Maybe one day. I'd love to see the cherry blossom trees." She smiles.

"I'm sorry if I seem distracted. It's a bit surreal sitting here with my voice providing the backdrop for this conversation." I laugh.

" I can pick your voice out of each of these songs. You've always been a star haven't you?" She asks as she listens to the song Night Changes playing.

In that moment I really want to kiss her and I waste no time in doing so. Here I am, on her couch making out like a 16 year old with my song serenading us. God I'm an idiot. Without thinking twice I pull her onto my lap and as she straddles me I'm aware at how quickly this moment is evolving into something deeper. My fingertips grasping her hips before inching their way up into the back of her tshirt feeling her bare skin against my fingers. I'm oblivious to anything but this moment right now, but she lets out a laugh that brings me back to reality.

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