Stop Using Me {suna x uke male}

book 2 chp: 18

⚠️NOT PROOF READ SINCE I FORGOT TO UPDATE EARLIER LET ME KNOW IF YOU SEE ANY MISTAKES⚠️

Jay was at the mansion in less than five minutes. (M/N) was just sitting in Jay's room, sitting on his desk chair, legs spread slightly and his arms were crossed.

He scared the ever living shit out of Jay when the male burst through his room. The hallow (E/C) eyes seemed to be the scariest part about (M/N), but also the most saddening about him.

"Why were you with Inarizaki?" Jay was quiet, looking away from the piercing gaze that belonged to the Hidden Demon. Not (M/N). "Rekindling old relationships? Trying to win back Kita?"

Jay flushed at the thought about the two toned haired leader. But he shook his head, ridding those thoughts.

"(M/N), I'm worried. That's why I went."

"I'm perfectly fine." It was monotone.

(M/N) wasn't saying it to convince him nor Jay, he was just saying it. There was no truth or lie behind those words, they just lingered. It made the atmosphere tense for no reason, it felt daring.

Daring to Jay, at least. It seemed like whatever came out of Jay's mouth would be useless and only fuel the male.

Jay sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "C'mon, I want to change, out you go." He felt it was best to change the subject.

(M/N) tilted his head, studying the male. Jay shifted, knowing full well that the shorter male could read him like a book, but he said nothing.

He just stood up, nodding his head and walking towards his door.

"I'll be in the car." He simply said.

(M/N) left the room, Jay stared at his door for a brief moment. He shook his head once more, this wasn't the time to dwell. Whether (M/N) knew or not, whether he wanted it or not, Jay will get him help. And there's only one person who can fully help without (M/N) feeling like he needed to filter what he was going to say.

Jay changed into something more fancier, keeping it snug where it will hug his muscles nicely. His muscles showed more than (M/N)'s muscles, but Jay liked showing off.

He walked out of his room and closed his door, his footsteps silent as he walked to the garage. He found (M/N) in his fancy (F/C) mustang, the car was already started as music was blasting. He opened the passenger side and got in, buckling up.

But (M/N) had not put his car in reverse yet, his fingers drummed the steering wheel and he seemed lost in thought. Jay took note he wasn't wearing his gloves, Alizer must of told him he couldn't.

"(M/N)?" He asked, putting his hand on the male's shoulder.

(M/N) slowly took his eyes off the wall in front and took them to Jay.

Even though (M/N) slept for a week, it was like his eye bags didn't change. It seemed he looked worse, but the tough male shrugged off any concern.

"I still think it's pointless for you to come." (M/N) said, "But, orders are orders."

He finally put his car in reverse, one hand going behind the seat Jay was sitting in and he just turned his head. He began to reverse quickly, making Jay grunt as his shoulder hit the window.

"YOU'RE A RECKLESS DRIVER!" Jay snapped at the laughing male.

"I just had to brighten this dull atmosphere." (M/N) gave a coy smile, playing innocent.

Jay only smiled, but he felt weighed down. He knew that some of Inarizaki was going to be there and it wouldn't take (M/N) long to figure it out. Jay shivered at the thought about (M/N) choking him to death or shooting him just for the hell of it.

The only thing he did to distract himself was lean towards the radio and turn it up. That filled the silence they both created.

(M/N)'s fingers lightly tapped to the beat of the songs, not that his mind was focused on the lyrics. In fact, it was elsewhere, he was blankly looking in front of him. The drive wasn't on his mind, he just couldn't bring himself to focus.

It was always like this when he woke up from the serum. But this felt different, he didn't like that he woke up. He didn't like that he heard Alizer when he was sleeping.

It was like his body got used to it from only using it one other time. He heard nothing and felt nothing, he still knew how long he was sleeping. He was able to control when he wanted to wake up. But this time, his body didn't allow him to hear nothing, it was like he continued to stay on guard.

All he ever wanted to do was relax. And he was able to do that, each time he was with Suna. Their first night together, he completely let his guard down for the first time in his life and it filled him with a sense of happiness he would never get unless with Suna.

"(M/N)?" Jay asked for the second time, putting his hand on his shoulder for the second time.

(M/N) didn't move his head to look at Jay, he just glanced at him through a side look. Letting go of the necklace he didn't know he had a hold on.

Jay's eyebrows were furrowed in concern. He squeezed the male's shoulder.

"We're here." Jay said, "We've been here for a few minutes."

(M/N) looked past Jay, through the window was the bar. (M/N) kept a blank face, but his mind swirled, he didn't even realized he stopped driving.

Did he run any red lights? Did he go over the speed limit? How did he drive? He couldn't remember or put his finger on it.

Now that he was able to sleep and lay in his bed without thinking about everything, he grew calmer. But he felt at a breaking point each passing second, on the inside he felt like he was the same as just a week ago when he was awake.

"Jay..." He mumbled, looking at the male, "I'm tired. So, so, so tired." He sighed, looking away.

"I know (M/N)," he reached over and hugged the male. (M/N) gasped a bit, his body in an uncomfortable position over the glove department, "I know." Jay whispered in his ear.

You won't be soon. You'll get better, I promise (M/N). This burden is not for you to hold alone, you won't feel by yourself anymore.

(M/N) was the first to pull away, no matter how desperately he wanted to stay in his arms.

"C'mon," (M/N) opened his door, his cold facade back on. As if he just wasn't about to fall apart in Jay's arms, "We have a mission to do." They both got out and he locked the car.

(M/N) usually said they have a mission to complete, but not this time. It was his way of saying, he couldn't care less about completing it or not. That it didn't matter what Alizer would do to him. Jay frowned.

(M/N) took a deep breath, walking towards the bar, no matter how much his mind screamed that he needed a break.

He just wanted to feel weak, he just wanted to fall apart in someone's arms -not be judged- and have them just hold him together. But he didn't just want someone, he wanted him. He wanted Suna.

It didn't feel the same with Jay, no matter how good it felt. He felt comfortable, but with Suna?

Oh, Suna, just that name fills him with a fuzzy feeling. Just a simple picture brings a smile to his face. With Suna he's more than comfortable around him, he's complete. He feels normal.

He wasn't the Hidden Demon around Suna, he was (L/N) (M/N).