Beyond Us [Bangchan] [Finished]

Chapter 31

While cooking dinner, I thought about our encounter back at the restaurant. It made my mind divagate through a lot of things, I almost burn out the meatballs, but I came to break down and accept some important stuff.

It would seem obvious at this glance, but living it was different, even though you knew about these things, you had to acknowledge and accept them in order to keep going whit this.

The few times I had been out with Chan, were at odd hours and at places you wouldn't expect to see him. Making sure it was a day not many people were around, and still, we would be careful about what we did and said.

I wonder if it would come a day they could go out freely and enjoy carelessly whatever they were up to.

It was not even about us, it was about them enjoying life. I know they still did in their own way, but it made me sad they had to struggle with that sort of thing.

And of course, if it was about us... we were far from being able to date as normal people would. Even if we saw each other by chance, like that day, we were not going to be able to be and do ourselves; not when there were always eyes on them.

Of course, fame had a high price. But why people couldn't leave them alone when they were at home? Was being respectful that hard? What idols provide is entertainment, that's their job. Off camera, they weren't working, how difficult was it to understand that?

Seeing how uncomfortable Chan looked every time a call got it, made me really mad. I could tell he wasn't in the best mood anymore either. But I couldn't do much; actually, I could do nothing about it, which was even worse.

"Chan-ah", I looked up at him.

"Hm?" His eyes were still on the TV.

"If you ever need help, you can count on me". He turned to see me. "I know you're the type of person who struggles alone and takes everything on by yourself. But sometimes it gets hard... You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, but you can come to me. I'll give you a big hug". He seemed a bit confused.

"Why are you saying that all of a sudden?" I shrugged my shoulders. "Everything is fine". He tilted his head a little bit, slightly frowning.

"I don't know, just... just in case".

"Are you worrying about something?"

"I worry about you", I replied in my mind. But if I told him that, he would feel even more uncomfortable so I kept it to myself. "Not really. And you?"

"I'm not". He said quickly.

"Just know I'm here for you... if you ever need I check your windows for you, for example". He started laughing.

"Ah, I'll remember it. Are you sure everything is fine?"

"Hundred percent sure". I gave him a little smile. He held my gaze for a few seconds before pressing his lips into a small smile too.

"By the way, about today..."

"Right, about today. What were you up to?"

"Honestly" I looked at him expectantly. "I just... kinda..." He scratched the side of his neck and giggled. "I wanted to talk with you for a bit. I thought it would be funny, but it was kinda awkward". He chuckled embarrassedly.

"Sofia was super happy though".

"Ah..." He nodded. "And you?"

"Me? What about me?" We stared at each other for a moment before Chan smiled and flicked his tongue.

"Nothing", I laughed at his frustrated face.

"There are some leftovers from dinner. I was thinking about packing them for you later". I said fixing myself on the couch again to continue watching the movie.