Beyond Us [Bangchan] [Finished]

Chapter 3

He was seated on a bench against the house wall. It was a bit dark since that side didn't have windows, so no light sneaked through.

After looking for a chance to talk to him all day, I finally had it. But hear me out; the knot in my stomach was no joke. Was I back at my 15 or something?

"Hi", I said walking towards him. He almost jumped. "Sorry, did I startle you?"

"Oh, no, no. Hi".

"Hm... do you mind if I have a word with you?" It seemed like I just found him immersed in his head. He stared at me for a sec before nodding a couple of times. "Sorry for interrupting, where you busy up there?" I pointed his head.

"Ah, yes. But it's fine, is there something I can help you with?"

"Yes". I tried to organize my thoughts quickly but didn't seem able to do that, so I snapped myself and switched languages. Talking about it in English was way easier than trying to find the words in Korean, how dumb! "Well, I'm Mia".

"Yeah, I know. We first meet at the fan sign the other day".

"Yeah". I nodded. As I thought, he knew. "I'm worried that you didn't take too well what I said to you that day".

"Not at all".

"You sure? It seemed like I ticked you off".

"Did I look angry? Sorry. I wasn't really mad at you or something". He said while shaking his hands. "It's just that I sometimes think that I'm doing well but then I realize I was mistaken. I thought that I was doing well with the vlives but you made me realize I could have been doing better".

"Ah, but don't take what I said too seriously. It's just what I think, maybe I'm wrong. Anyway, you're doing well, don't be that harsh on yourself".

"But you quite nailed it. I tell you to embrace yourselves with all your singularities, to stay healthy and stuff but I don't really do that. I mean..." He took a moment to think what he was saying. I think he was saying things he didn't have to. "What I mean is... I push myself way too hard sometimes, and the impact of that might be misinterpreted by others. It's not that I look down on myself but there're things that I know I can do better but sometimes don't go as I wished and that crack my nerves 'cause I know it could have been better". I couldn't help but smile a little bit at him trying to speak out his mind. "I don't know if I'm explaining myself well". He turned to me with a interrogative expression on his face.

"You're doing great". He giggled relieved.

"Thank you. But well, yeah, that's it. I wasn't angry or anything, it's more like I was frustrated or upset with myself for not realizing sooner. And I'll be more careful from now on". He said lowly slapping his tight resuming the topic.

"The fact that you have to walk on eggshells because of the impact of yours words might have is kinda sad".

"It's part of being what we are".

"Yeah, I guess". There was a little pause. "Anyway, sorry if it made you uncomfortable. It wasn't my intention".

"It's ok, it's ok". Another awkward short pause. "Did you have fun today?"

We started talking about how fun and exciting the day was. He mentioned that they had this idea a few years ago but didn't know if it would see the light. They were as excited as we were.

He told me that they built the activities of the camp with some things they liked on some of the variety shows they had attend to, it was impossible not to comment on some good and funny memories I had of them on some shows. Then, somehow, the conversation turned to how we both sucked at videogames.