Beyond Us [Bangchan] [Finished]

Chapter 61

It was Monday already, and I didn't know how—time had been weird the last couple of weeks.

I went to the airport to farewell Dad early that day, he gave me a long talk. He didn't want to leave yet since he was concerned about me, but I told him I was going to sort things out with Chan that week so he didn't have to worry too much, and headed to work.

I had a lot to do, and even though I had the time for it that day, I could barely finish a few of them. My mind was too busy with Chan and our current situation. I almost couldn't leave the phone alone waiting for a message or call from him.

I was already on my way home when Chan called me.

"Hello?" I heard him from the other end.

"Hi, how was your flight?"

"All good, all good. Uhm... I'm at the dorm right now, I was thinking we could get dinner together".

"I already took the bus home", I looked out through the window, it was too late to get off and return to Seoul. "I can stay in Seoul after work tomorrow if you want".

"No, it's ok. I can go over there now".

"You sure?"

"Yeah, do want me to get us something?"

"No, don't worry. I'll go buy dinner since I'll be there first. I haven't gone grocery shopping yet. What do you want?"

"Uh... I've been craving pizza since yesterday".

"Ok, pizza then".

"Are you ok?" He asked after a short silence.

"Yeah, why?"

"You sound a little bit off".

"Ah, no. It must be because I'm just tired. You know, I got up early today".

"Hm... I'll be there in no time".

"See you then".

To be honest, I wasn't feeling great that day. But we had a conversation pending and it didn't feel right to postpone it.

Once at home, I called for pizza delivery and slowly started to gather my stuff. I was moving that weekend and I had to start packing again. My dad helped me with my grandma's things and had already arranged everything with a moving company so I didn't have much to do. But since I got late from work, I preferred to pack little by little and not stress out on Friday night.

When I went out to receive the pizza, I saw Chan turning around the corner so I waited for him outside. He gave me a sweet smile when we lifted his face and saw me standing at the gate. He speeded up and was almost by my side when I saw a weird person turning the corner as well. I mean, it wasn't that weird but I could already spot the sasaengs out.

"Chan-ah", I murmured to him when he got closer and made a gesture to let him know there was someone behind. I was angry just at the sight of her.

"Seriously?" He made a face and sighed. "Let's get in quickly". He hurried taking the pizza out of my hands.

I was going to follow when I saw her taking her camera out from behind a pole. I was done. I sprinted full speed at her, she tried to escape but I was faster and grabbed her arm the moment it was at reach.

"What do you think you are doing?" I shouted. "Stop following him, delete that now!" I heard Chan catching up with me.

"Mia, stop". He touched my hand trying to calm me down.

"Let's call the police now, this is harassment", I said turning to him. Chan was facing that stranger with a deadly stare. It seemed that he recognized her from another time.

It took us around an hour to get out of the police station, and a long scolding from Chan's manager for not letting him handle the situation. I almost talked back at him, but I kept my mouth shut because I was too angry and could tell things I didn't mean.

We went back home in silence and with the cold pizza box in our hands. Now that I think about it, it looks a little funny.

Once we got home, Chan left the box on the dining table and both sat on the couch in complete silence for another while. Both of us were upset, but I knew that if I didn't talk first, Chan wouldn't say a word. He usually avoided me when he was like that. It's not like I saw him in that mood many times, I could count to three at most and it wasn't because of a conflict between the two of us but because of a third party.

"Chan-"

"Don't do that ever again", he asked talking at the same time as me.

"Why?" I frowned.

"What if something bad happens? They can say anything to cover themselves, it could turn out in something very different". I frowned even more.

"And let them do as they please? No way! I don't want people outside my house waiting for my next move so they can say whatever suits them better. I don't want you to be followed around, I don't want to be careful anymore just because there might be someone following us wishing we let our guard down". I slick my hair back and let a big sigh out. "I can't keep up with this, Chan".

"The company is already on it, it's just a matter of time to-"

"And in the mid-time what?" He swallowed hard.

"I know it's hard and nerve-wracking, I understand, but... just a little longer".

"No, Chan. You should call them out and put them in place. Not for me, maybe not for us, but for you. Sending texts through Bubble with messages in between lines is not calling them out, nor vanishing for a couple of weeks from their radars". He clenched his jaw. Chan knew I was right, and that bothered him even more.

"Do you think it doesn't bother me?" He was angry now. "I have to deal with it daily, and the others too, do you think it doesn't bother me? To have to sneakily go out with you or my friends because we could be pointed out at the minimum thing?"

"Tell them to stop then! You are a fucking person, you need your space, if you are uncomfortable with something you can say it, you don't have to swallow everything down. Stop pleasing them all and do something for yourself for once".

"You don't understand".

"Explain it to me, then". I looked at him in the eye. "Explain it to me so maybe I can wait a little longer because this is more than I can handle. I can't keep up with things like this". I bit my lower lip impatiently. Chan looked hurt and angry at the same time. He understood the meaning of my heavy words.

I thought about it all weekend, and if being together and unable to defend ourselves out there was going just to bring us hardships and even more worries for Chan, I didn't want anything. Maybe I should have thought about it before when we had just started going out, but it was an idea I wanted to ignore at all costs. This was the worst-case scenario, I bet neither of us thought it could turn out like this. Maybe we were too optimistic.

"I'm sorry you had to go through this". He pursed his lips and clenched his hands. "If this has turned that hard for you, maybe we should stop things here. I should have noticed sooner".

I saw it, the moment his heart broke. It was unbearable, I had to look down.

"Chan-ah, I'm sorry". I held my tears back. There was no way I could cry in front of him when that was happening.

"If there's something I can do for you, I'll still do it. So..." He licked his lips before forming a thin line with them. I adventured to look up at his eyes. "You just have to say it". I could see the conflict within him, it seemed like he was holding his tears too. What could I do? I didn't want this to happen but I didn't want it to bring us down either.

"I- I don't know what to tell you". He tilted his head and a corner of his lips twitched up slightly into a small smile for a second.

"You are going to move this weekend, I'll make sure your new address keeps private". He stood up like his body weighed a ton. "I'll take my leave". He walked towards the door and I stood up and followed him quickly.

"You can stay until tomorrow morning if you want". I offered, but I didn't want him to stay, to be honest.

"It's ok. I'm still on time to take the last bus". He turned to me. "I'm really sorry". And without saying or doing anything else, he left.