ONNAXOFF

Chapter 44

Abel

After Jessie storms out, I'm left with a hysterical Rose. She's sitting on the couch, sobbing uncontrollably and wailing "What have I done? What have I done?" at the floor. Part of me wants to grab her and shout "Yes, what have you done, you stupid bitch?!" But the more rational part of me knows that this is as much my fault as hers, maybe even more.

I move from my position at the door and sit next to her. I pat her on the back and try to calm her down. All this crying can't be good for the baby.

I haven't fucked up this bad since... I can't even remember. And I haven't got a clue how I'm gonna fix this. I shouldn't have let Jessie leave. I should have held her, explained. Tried to make her understand. I didn't almost get Rose pregnant on purpose. We weren't even together back then. It was just one drunken night. Maybe it's not too late. I have no idea where she went but she has to come back to her apartment eventually, right?

First I have to deal with Rose.

"Shhh." I murmur. "It's going to be alright."

She turns to look at me like I'm some kind of alien. Gently, she removes my hand from her back. She sniffs, and wipes her wet face with her hands.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

She doesn't answer the question, just lets the awkward silence hang in the air for a few moments.

"You never called me."

Her accusation is totally out of the blue, but I can't pretend I don't know what she's talking about.

"I know."

"You could have at least texted."

"And said what?" I ask.

"I don't know. Like, just acknowledge that we... that something happened between us." She looks down in her lap and another tear rolls down her cheek. "I mean, I woke up and you were gone. And I felt like shit. Not because I had the worst hangover of my life, but because of you. You made me feel like I was nothing."

"I don't know what to tell you, Rose. I'm sorry." I apologise."I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I just... I thought you knew what it was. I'm not the kind of guy who sticks around in the morning. I don't call the next day, or after waiting three days or whatever you're supposed to do."

"You did with Jessie." She points out quietly.

"That was... different."

"Because she's the kind of girl you break rules for." She explains on my behalf, looking up at me again. Even though I'm sure she hates me, she has the kind of open face you don't want to lie to. I nod slowly.

"You actually care about her, don't you?"

"I do."

She sighs, and shakes her head. "She's never going to forgive us."

"Of course she will. She's just mad right now. You know how her temper is. Give her some time." 

__________

After Rose leaves, I wait restlessly in Jessie's apartment. For an hour and a half, I alternate between scrolling on my phone, checking out the photos on her wall and just sitting on the couch, wondering what I'm gonna say to her when she returns. As it becomes clear that she's not coming back any time soon, I decide to give her the night to cool off, and come back tomorrow.

The moment I step foot in my apartment, I'm startled by the fact that the lights are on. I'm pretty sure I turned them off before I left. After finding no sign of life in the living room or kitchen, I take the stairs two at a time, up to my bedroom.