ONNAXOFF

Chapter 38

Abel

The guys in the band all cheer as LJ finishes strumming the last long chord on the bass guitar. 
“Great rehearsal, guys! Amazing. We killed it!” Patrick rushes forward to hi-five Ricky across his drum set. 
“It was good.” I agree. There are still a few transitions that could have been smoother, but we can work on that at our last rehearsal tomorrow. I can’t believe it’s been months since the Kiss Land tour. Maybe it’s the fact that we’re doing a similar set, but we’re still so in tune with each other, we could probably put on a show tonight.

I sit down on the edge of the stage and gulp down some water. Lamar walks over and tosses a towel at me. I catch it just before it hits me in the face and use it to wipe the sweat off my forehead.

While I rest, he gives me the latest updates.

“So Cash just texted me: Charlie heard your new songs and he thinks they’re fire. Obviously. Like I keep saying, the Or Nah remix is going to murder the club scene. Even my mom’s got it on replay.” He beams.

I chuckle. It’s a little more explicit than my usual stuff, but from the response so far, my little test of the boundaries was successful.

“Oh and the lookbook is done for the new merch.” He hands me his phone and lets me scroll through the pictures.

“This is dope.” I grin. They came out even better than I imagined. I have to admit, I had my doubts about selling our merch as an “Official Issue” clothing line instead of just updating the website with new stuff, but now that it’s really happening, I can’t believe we didn’t come up with this sooner. It’s exactly what we need to take XO to the next level. Everything is falling into place. 
“Any more good news?” I ask optimistically. 
“Umm, yeah. All the tour hotel bookings are done.” He takes his phone back. “The only thing is: Hawk still hasn’t had time to check that all the hotels have a nut-free kitchen. But at worst, that just means Jessie has to get takeout a few times.”
And just like that, the flash of excitement is gone, replaced by guilt. 
“Oh. Actually, maybe he should hold off on that.” I meet his eyes hesitantly. “She might not be coming anymore.”
“What? Where’s this coming from?” He squints down at me. “Just a few days ago, you were reminding him to add her to all the backstage guest lists.”
“I know, but I’ve been thinking. Maybe it’s not a great idea for her to come on tour with us. I was talking to Hyghly and he said…” 
He doesn’t even let me finish my sentence. 
“Hyghly? Come on, Abel. Of all people, you’re going to listen to Hyghly?” He asks disbelievingly. “Ask Cash, ask me, fucking ask Hawk. At least that would make some sense, we lived with her for two weeks. But Hyghly? Not only does he not know her, but you know damn well he’s not thinking straight right now.”
“I know, but he made a good point. It’s not a good idea to be distracted right now.” I maintain. “With the new music, the tour, the merch and all that shit going on, I’m just too busy.”
“Alright, I see what you’re saying. You need to get your shit together if you’re going to drop this album early.”  He nods thoughtfully before shrugging. “For what it’s worth though, I think it’d be cool if she came.”
Easy for him to say. He hasn’t been around her lately. 
“We’ll see. I haven’t fully decided yet.” I say to get him off my back, even though I’ve been thinking about this for a few days and I’ve pretty much made my decision. 
Besides, even if she doesn’t come, it’s not like we have to be apart for the whole time. I can still fly her out to a couple of shows, if she wants to go. We can FaceTime and talk on the phone.
The only thing l have to do now is find a good time to tell her, which is easier said than done.
It strikes me just how unfair it is that everything in my life is amazing right now, while hers is so terrible. 
___________

After rehearsal I head over to Jessie’s apartment, seeing as I don’t have much time to hang out before the tour and I haven’t been over there since Eli got here.
Just like when I met him in London, he doesn’t make a big deal of the Weeknd thing at all. The only time he even mentions it is to sociably ask how work is going when I first arrive.