Back to you | Dean Winchester [4]

Chapter 22: That's good to hear

This one does not follow an episode

Alexis ran her hand through Deans hair as his head rested against her chest. He lay between her legs, his arms wrapped around her as he listened to the rhythmic beating of her heart.

Alexis knew it probably wasn't the best time to bring this up, but she felt bad for keeping it from him. She knew how hypocritical it was of her to beg him to just open up and talk when she hadn't been telling him everything going on. For the most part she had been doing that. She just refrained from bringing up the things that she knew went on in hell.

Alexis didn't want to drag up bad memories. "Dean....?"

"Hmm?" Dean hums.

"I already knew." Alexis whispers. "I already knew that you accepted the deal. What you did."

Dean sat up. "What? How?"

Alexis forced herself to meet his eyes. "Dean, you know that I would take some of your pain. How do you think I did that? I had to go into hell, or some version of hell to do that. So eventually I seen. And instead of taking your pain then, I took theirs."

"Because I knew when I got you back that everything from hell would haunt you. And I thought if maybe you knew that they weren't always in pain, you wouldn't take it as hard." She continues.

"I still tortured people, Alexis." Dean stood up. "You knew? All along? From the second I got back, you knew? And you're still with me?"

Alexis scoffs. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Do you not hear me? I tortured people."

"So? I have too, Dean. Newsflash, I've done some really fucked up shit. Yet, you still decided to take me in. To be my friend. To take care of me. Dean, you still decided to be with me." Alexis pushes herself up off the bed. "Why would you think I'd ditch you for that? You actually had a reason."

"Yeah, but, Lexi, you deserve someone better. Someone who can give you more than this." Dean gestures around the motel room.

"Dean, how many times do I have to tell you, there is no one better for me than you. No one makes me feel the way you do."

Dean sighs, glancing toward the window. Rain poured outside as thunder boomed. Lightning lit up the small room. "I can't do this right now." He grabbed his jacket, walking out of the door letting it slam shut behind him.

For a second she didn't believe him, didn't believe he walked out the door. Then reality hit her like a freight train and she was moving. She flung open the door, stepping out into the pouring rain. "Dean, stop!" She yells over the thunder and lightning.

"Alexis, I really don't-" Dean turned to face her, rain drops dripping down his face.

"Don't leave me." Alexis begs. "Look, I know where you are. How crippling it feels. You wanna just push everyone and everything away. But don't. Okay? You didn't give up on me when I went through shit. I won't give up on you. On us."

"Why--"

"I love you." Alexis spits out. "I do, okay? I should've said it when you told me before you died. I should've said it when you got back. I love you, Dean. Every fiber of my being loves you. I have for a really long time."

Deans eyes widen as lightning flashes. He stared at Alexis silently for a few seconds, almost like he didn't believe someone loved him. "Don't say that." Dean shakes his head. "You shouldn't."

"I will go through hell and back with you. In a way, I already have. Because I love you. I love you, Dean." Alexis repeats. "I always will." Suddenly Dean was in front of her. He took her face in his hands.