Let Myself Hope

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As the last days of our trip draw closer Daniel and I have fallen into an easy rythm

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As the last days of our trip draw closer Daniel and I have fallen into an easy rythm. We spend literally ever evening together, chatting off and on all day, goofing off far too much. When I would normally be fleeing a man's bed, Daniel is bringing me coffee.

Piece by piece, things are better. I can't pinpoint just what happened but I know I'm happy.

Really happy.

But Max's words stay nagging in the back of my mind.

The boys scurry away from the breakfast table to compete on the sim, and Daniel stops to kiss my hand before he goes. "Farewell my lady." He cracks me up before I've even finished my first cup of caffeine for the day.

Which doesn't go unnoticed to Carmen and Amelia. Everyone's let us off the hook, nobody commenting on how we've begun to treat each other like a couple over the last few days. Minus a
comment or two by Max, they have all been good to let us figure it out on our own. Which would be good if we were figuring it out rather than just pretending we didn't have history to discuss.

"So, Daniel?" Amelia presses me for the first time since we left land, eyebrows shooting up above her sunglasses.

"I know." I let a deep groan, absolutely dreading facing the truth.

Though it's high time I do and they are good to call me on it. I so appreciate how they tell me like it is, because honesty in friendship is such a true rarity.

"Have you talked?" Carmen ponders, sipping her water.

"Of course not." The confess leaves my lips and they both grimace.

Playing the good cop today, we have Carmen. "He's very sweet to you."

He is.

These past few days have been the best of my life, and in no small part due to him.

"You need to talk E." Amelia's tone is friendly but her message is clear. She's dead right.

I need to tell him. The wound never truly heals until you rip off the bandaid.

The mere thought of it makes me feel dizzy. Overwhelmed. Horribly sad. Somedays it's too much for me to think about, let alone tell him about. It still hurts so much. Too much.

Tears bubble behind my sunglasses, the words escaping me.

I want to say that I'm so scared to lose him again. It's much more fun living in a fairytale bubble and I am terrified he'll hate me after my confession. But just thinking the words brings me to a full on breakdown.

It's long overdue, and choke out the sobs the girls flock to my side each offering comfort.

"Go away," Carmen issues a stark tone that prompts me to look up. George.

Looking every inch confused at the scene unfolding before him.

"Sorry, I - I came for my tea." He snatches the cup, and Carmen waves him away.

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