Chance Upon A Tempest

Chapter 44

When you wake up Friday morning, you don't feel the kind of heaviness you felt yesterday. You're still not quite yourself, but definitely not feeling worse. You get yourself up and out of bed and ready for work. You know that you were instructed to go up to Jimin's office as soon as you get into work. So, you prepare yourself for the barrage of apologies, explanations, etc. You tell yourself, "I'll listen to what he has to say, accept his apology, and end things with him. We'll put all of this behind us and just be colleagues." Having decided on that, you feel even better. Sighing deeply, you grab your things and make your way to work.

As soon as you arrive at your office, you grab your files for the Newby case and head up to Jimin's office. On the elevator ride up, you can feel your heart beating in your ears and have to tell yourself, "Just be calm. Breathe. Everything will be okay, and no matter what, just don't cry."

As you walk into Jimin's suite, you see Virginia at her desk. She smiles up at you and says, "Good morning. He just got here. He is expecting you, so you can go right on in."

"Thank you, Ma'am."

You give his inner office door a quick knock and when you hear him say, "Come on in," you open the door and enter. Doing your best to maintain a professional demeanor, you say, "Good morning, Jimin. I'm here. What would you like me to get started with?"

Jimin gets up out of his chair and takes decisive steps towards you. When you see him approaching you, the need to take a few steps back, to keep the distance between you and Jimin, is overwhelming. Somehow, you find the gumption to keep your feet planted where they are. When he is finally arm's length away from you, he reaches out and pulls you into his embrace. You knew there would be words, but you did not expect this to be the first thing.

Taken aback, you go rigid in his arms. Holding you tight to him, Jimin says, "Kitten, I don't want her. I want you. All I did was to walk her to her car and say goodbye. I did not instigate what you saw. You have to believe me. That is not the kind of man I am. Baby girl, I'm beyond sorry that you had to see that. Please, just tell me what I need to do, and I'll do it. Kitten, I just can't lose you."

You remain rigid in his arms, and he can feel how tense you are, how you aren't giving him anything and remaining silent. He says, "Kitten, please. Say something."

Feeling completely numb, you say, "Apology accepted. Now, tell me what you'd need me to do for the trial prep."

Disconcerted by your complete lack of emotional response, he asks, "That's it? Apology accepted?"

"Yes."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I accept your apology."

"So... now what?"

"I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you are asking me."

"Why are you acting like this?"

"Acting like what?"

Jimin is confused. He asks, "So, that's it? You accept my apology, and we are just going to go back to the way things were?"

"Oh, no. You and I, we are done."

"Wait. What?"

"We are done. You didn't think that after what I saw that night, we would stay together, did you?"

"I don't know what I thought. But don't you think we are, at least, worth a conversation? Baby, I don't want to lose you. I can't, I won't. You need to tell me how to fix this."

"Jimin, I need you to switch places with me. Imagine for a moment, that I had told you about a dinner with my law school friend, but that I never mentioned that the said friend was a man. Not just any man, but an ex-boyfriend, with whom I have had an on again off again sexual relationship. Then imagine that you saw me with that man's hand on my exposed breasts, and the other inside me, and to top it all off, you saw my hand groping his hard-on, all of it out in the open. What would you do? Would you even look at me? What would you tell me if I asked you if there was anything I could do or say that would make all this right again? Do you think you'd be able to come up with something that I could do that would have made things better for you? For us? Would there be anything that you could have told me to do or say that kept your mind from seeing that nightmarish scene every time you laid your eyes on me? Would you stay with me because I said I couldn't lose you? I think you need to answer those questions for yourself and be as brutally honest as you can when you answer it, before you try and say I'm not giving us a chance."