Change of Heart

60

Jay POV

I brushed my hair back until my fingers escaped from the entanglement of my locs. My eyelids closed and my head sank backwards .

I gave no regard to whose desk I might be intruding. Air filled to the bottom of my lungs then left my nose twice as fast. My brain was a foggy as this school was dusty.

Right on cue, I bare witness to armies of dust bunnies covering the air vents. My nose was vulnerable to possible disease. To save myself, I turn my nose down toward my desktop.

I untangle my backpack from my arms to rest it in my lap. My fingers clinch the zipper then I hyper focus onto my thumb feeling a chill from the cold metal...

Cold.. Like possibly push me away cold. It's just not right. Like.. Am I missing something? Why would she try to play me like that? Did I go out getting others lady's numbers?   ...Oh. It was that day. That lady clerk tried to slide me her number and I didn't throw it away. It had to be a way she saw it and tried to throw her reverse card.

Wow. I really know my girlfriend, but real talk, it still doesn't excuse the fact that she really pulled it off. Intentionally. With a guy. Does this mean she likes guys more? Maybe I'm just playing myself. Like.. Am I being delusional by thinking she could want me over anybody else in this world? I could be a phase to her. She could be playing me.

My stomach dropped. I couldn't tell if my legs were functional. My feet weighed one ton each.

A fragrance mist collides my train of thought.

It took me back to 40 degree weather nights, when I was Christmas shopping alone at the strip mall for her gifts. My first stop was Bath & Body Works.

I unzipped my backpack to slowly select my school supplies which I needed for Pre-Cal. I had no intention of raising my head to acknowledge anyone. Buried underneath a honey bun I got fresh from the vending machine during first period was my iphone 12. My phone screen lit a party flash within the fabrics of my bag. There were multiple new messages notifications.

I looked for the time displayed on the screen. I see that it's a minute until the bell rings. I guess I have to read fast. It's itching me to know where I got all these texts from.

I press and hold my screen.

There was a text from Lonnie, Chaz, and a voice text from her.

"Can I have a dollar? My girlfriend wants a snack at lunch."

"You good?"

"Keep your head up. Or I'll have to do it for you."

The corner of my mouth pulls back, almost like a reflex.

I grab a pencil, a water bottle, and my red composition book. I loosely bounced my eraser on the face of my notebook. I literally can't help but wait. I'm playing scenarios in my head of what to say today at lunch.

Time is as much my friend as it is my enemy.

Footsteps evaded the hallways and shuffled into the classroom just in time as the bell conducted the teacher toward the classroom door.

"That's the bell." Mr. Smith announces as he coddles the door to ensure it closes entirely before he starts his lecture.

The home room door flies open just as fast as you can hear the latch click. My eyes locked onto my water bottle as I dissociate from the room.

"I made it. I'm sorry. I had to speak to my history teacher about a homework project."

The air was leaving their lips faster than words. Clearly, they were audible to the teacher.

Maybe I'm tripping, 'cause that almost sounds like...

"Next time, when that door closes, this door is locked. Remember. If you're on time, you're late. If you're late, that's unacceptable. Don't have a pass and you'll be excused. Now. Are we clear?"

"Yes sir."

Morgan POV

Today is Thursday. I have a theory that Thursdays are longer than Mondays because it's the day before Friday. It's killing me slowly. Every period was just another hour for me to assume the worst.

Ever since this morning, I've felt low vibrational. I dragged my feet through the hallway. My adrenaline was burning as fast as the acid in my stomach.

She obviously wants to break up with me. This is the first time we haven't bounced back from a tough time.

Usually we need a couple days to shake things off. Well, usually it takes me that long. Jamie gets over things twice as fast compared to me, which is why I'm so deflated.

My everything wants us to be nothing. She doesn't even want to talk to me for real. Is there really nobody else like she said? Am I the problem? It's just that I wasn't imagining that phone number on that little white paper that came from her pocket at the hospital. I was hurt and she was hurting me more. I still can't believe she hasn't confessed about it.

I open my classroom door and lo and behold, it's her. She's so still that I could sit her next to a royal guard and you would only know the difference by sight.

I claimed a seat by the window close to Lonnie and Chaz, but not close enough to converse. I still wanted to be left alone.

A vibration rings off on my thigh. I tap the screen of my cell to see a new message notification.

I look up at her golden brown locs. Her hand was buried inside her backpack. Could that message be hers?

I could see she was messing with something inside her bag. Maybe she was sending a message.

I unlock my phone and open the message.

"Let's ketchup at lunch. I miss talking to you pretty girl"

It was from an unsaved number. My shoulders drop. I thought she was actually thinking about me. I was hoping she was missing talking to me just as much as I was, if not more.

If she's not texting me, then who? Is it just Lonnie or Chaz? Or is she texting someone else? Someone new? Someone she knows can understand her better?

My gut trembles. My eyelids dropped like the ball on New Years. The bell rang as class commenced.

"That's the bell."

I still see nothing but dark orange from behind my eyelids and a hazy image of brown locs imprinted in my memory, but one things for sure, I can tell you Mr. Smith is walking toward that door to make sure it locks. One thing he doesn't play about is attendance.

Suddenly, the latch is unhinged. My eyes open to see the brave soldier who opened that door.

In walks a breathless, small-framed, medium sized girl with blazing fire on her head. Not literally, but her hair flared like a fire pit with warm colors. She kinda gave me bratz doll vibes.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say she's my competition. Hopefully, I'll still have a gf after lunch today and they'll never have to cross paths outside or inside these walls.

It dawned on me that she might not even play for the same team so I quickly scanned her profile. Then I found my answer faster than I expected. I peeped that she had a rainbow flag plastered around her airpod case.

If there's a god, then she's attracted anybody but Jamie. Only problems can come from anything otherwise.

She spoke softly, but she sounds like she's from another state. She made her way to a desk, finding herself two rows to my left. Suddenly, a heavy energy finds its way on my shoulders.

Can lunchtime get here any slower?