Change of Heart

37 - Confessions Pt. 1

Previously....

I figured if I wasn't dead already he was going to beat me to death.

"You need a father's protection."

"What I need is protection from my father."

"I deserved to be put in here anyways."

"The person I liked actually liked me back and now all my chances are gone.. I lost her."

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[Lonnie POV]

I was doing nothing but sitting in the chair. I went into a deep thinking mode.

In other words, I started talking to myself. I couldn't help but think. I didn't want to talk to Mo, so my thoughts were all I had.

So much was on my mind.

It was going back and forth.

My conscience having its own internal battle.

My head and my heart were at war.

What if she's really hurt?

You feeling guilty won't make her feel any better.

Fuck her. She doesn't care. She got a new Bitch and she almost tried to kill you.

But you know you care about her.

I don't have time to be caring about someone who doesn't care about me.

She never said she doesn't like you or that she didn't care

She never said sorry either.

She's a snake.

She's two faced.

Don't trust her.

It ain't nun to cut that Bitch off.

That was your best friend for years. You know her heart.

Time don't mean nothing to other people.

And fuck her heart. She broke mine by getting some fake ass girlfriend and not believing her best friend over some new bitch.

She can have her new Bitch. I'm done.

She's not my girl. She was never my girl. And will never be my girl.

That can still change

She still needs you

She should've known what she had before running me away.

Remember her father, she needs your protection

She doesn't need my anything

She got a whole girlfriend now.

I'm not obligated to help her with anything. I'm not even obligated to talk to her.

Chasity and Lonnie are over.

Through all my anger that last thought just put it on pause.

"Did I just say that?" I ask myself.

"Say what?" Morgan asks me.

I must not have only asked myself that question if it was loud enough for her to hear.

"Nothing... I was just thinking."

"Yeah. You've been thinking for the past 15 minutes. What's on your mind?"

I couldn't answer her.

"Is it Chasity?"

A froze momentarily.

"What would make you say that?" I ask.

"You. Your body language told me. And you don't ever think that long unless it's about food or a girl."

"Damn... We gotta stop hanging out. I need new friends." I laugh.

"So what's really going on between you and Chasity?"

"Nothing."

"You can't lie to me Lonnie. We live together. I've known you since our diaper days. You can tell me anything. You can always trust family."

After thinking about her offer to get some things off my chest I let out a deep sigh.

[Jamie POV]

"Who? Bianca?"

"No Lonnie"

I was slightly in shock by what she said.

It always flew over my head that my best friend would have feelings for our best friend.

I mean I could've suspected something when they would always go to the locker room together... I mean Chaz did get a ride home with Lonnie, but we all knew that Lonnie would take out time to talk to girls after school so there was no need to rush when Lonnie was gonna take her sweet time.

"Man, that girl was my heart." She said

"But what about Bianca? " I ask.

"I mean she's cute and all. And I do have feelings for her but not like with Lonnie. She made me feel safe. When we kissed, it felt like we were the only two people on Earth. It was just me and her. Nothing else mattered."

Kissed?

"Y'all kissed?" I ask in shock. "Wait. Go back. I gotta be missing something. When and how?"

[Lonnie POV]

"The truth is... I'm hurt." I admit. "I feel so hurt and betrayed. Like my heart got stabbed, torn out of my chest, then burned."

"Gee. What really happened between yall?" She asks.

I let out a sigh.

"I fell in love with Chaz" I say.

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