Change of Heart

58

Chaz POV

I wanted to text Lonnie, but all I could do was overthink. It was so much going through my mind.

I locked my phone and threw it. My head fell back onto the pillow forcing me to stare at the ceiling. I focused my attention on my breathing.

I sat alone in silence since B went to the bathroom. My breathing was as loud as the TV. Or maybe that's how I hear myself. My senses heighten when I'm "elevated."

I heard the water from the sink turn on. I immediately imagine a waterfall. Imagine if we washed our hands in waterfalls and showered in giant-sized sinks. What a world that would be.

"You good? You not tripping, are you?"

In my mind, I was scared because she caught me off gaurd. I didn't even hear the water turn off, let alone the door open.

I can see how this may look concerning from her point of view. I'm not moving. I'm not on my phone. I'm not even sure if I was blinking.

"Nah. I'm good. Just thinking." I reply biting my cheek.

"I'm gonna go get food from the kitchen to satisfy my munchies. You want something?" She asks.

"Yeah. Uh.. can I have everything?" I ask to get a reaction. I'm sure I earned a funny reaction but my eyes were still locked on her ceiling. I knew if I looked at her I'd find one of her funny expressions plastered on her face. It's the eyebrows that kill me.

"You no restock, no can do Doc." Her voice softened as she traveled further away.

I shook my head, "Dr. Suess headass."

Man I miss Dr. Suess. Back when times used to be simple. Why is life so complicated? I didn't choose to do this life thing, so why do I have to suffer?

Almost as if the TV were in my head, I heard a commercial talk about how life is complicated. My eyes and ears tuned in.

"How your life goes is up to you. You write every chapter of your book. You want to look back at the end and not say "I wish I would've done this" or "I wish I would've bought that." Take control. It's your life. You only get one. Stop saying what you want and go get it. Cause I did and with my new Nike Pharoahs I'm living my best life.  You could be too. Don't think about it. Just do it. You don't have any time to waste."

That was a Nike commercial?

I started clapping and cheering. I've never seen such an inspirational commercial.

"Why are you clapping?" She yelled from the kitchen. I could hear in her tone she was thinking what's wrong with me.

"You missed a commercial." I yelled back.

That commercial made me rethink a few things. I can't wait to fix my relationship with Lonnie. Life is too short to not be with the one I love. How can I lose the one who cares about me the most? Or used to. We've been through so much. She saved my life. I owe mine to her and I'm gonna act like it.

"Was it a movie trailer?" She asks, walking back into the room with half of her fridge on a tray.

My head twitched with confusion. "Now how in the hell did you manage to do that?"

She smiles menacingly and plops the tray onto her bed. Before I allow myself to get consumed by my stomach's agenda, I remember what I was thinking about.

I pick up my phone and call Lonnie, hoping she answers.

"What?" She answers with attitude but I let it slide.