"Caly, okay ka lang ba?" Cassie asked me when Mrs. Tan gave out the results to my report. I wasn't in the mood to do anything because I'm just emotionally tired from everything. I feel weak. "Namumutla ka. Do you want to go to the clinic?"
I faintly smiled at her and shook my head. Medicine won't do. I'm not supposed to go to class today not just because Apollo was so persistent on pushing me off the bed to prepare for school but because I'm not in the mood to deal with a lot of people today. I feel weak and I know I looked like one too. It wouldn't take a rocket scientist to conclude that.
Apollo said I should not waste my time crying about them. He said he's not about to let me hurt myself more than I could bear. I was asking - begging him to let me have this day for myself but what he said made it clear that whatever reasons I have, it's not going to be valid.
"You know I'm doing this for you, right?" Apollo told me when I tried to remove his hands from mine.
His voice which was defiant before now turned into fume. Now, he's mad. I don't like it when Apollo's mad. I stopped wiggling and stood there silently telling him to not do this to me. But he's Apollo after all. "You think I'm going to let you waste another basketful of tears today? Why, Caly? Why do you have to let all these consume you? I get that you're hurt. I understand that I might not have the slightest idea what it felt like but do you think it's okay with me to watch you suffer because of them?" I bit my lip to stop myself because damn it I'm about to cry again.
"Hindi ko kaya 'yun. Naiintindihan mo ba?" I looked at his eyes. "Hindi ko kayang nakikita kang nasasaktan at wala akong magawa. Now, please, I beg you." His breathing was ragged and I can't help but feel a sympathy. "Go on with your day. Try to forget about them. Live like it's a normal day because yesterday was a disaster. Don't let them take you away from anything. Don't let them take you away from me."
So, here I am failing to apply what he said to me. My boyfriend doesn't believe in the saying it takes time to heal wounds he said that time doesn't make it if the person involved is not doing anything for it to happen. Kung hahayaan mo lang daw ang oras na gumawa ng lahat at wala ka namang ginagawa para tulungan ang sarili mo, walang mangyayari. Pinahaba mo lang ang oras na nasasaktan ka.
So, when I looked at Cassie again. "Kakain ba kayo ni Fred later?"
She pouted her lips, thinking, "Busy siya ngayon eh. Next week naman kasi turn ng section nila sa defense. So, I don't think masasamahan niya ako. Why?"
I stared at her for a second, "Let's eat lunch together."
She gladly nodded. I don't always ask my classmates for lunch not unless of course if we're close. Cassie is harmless. She's been trying to be friends with me ever since the first day but I was just too cold to anybody.
Class ended like a whirlwind and we're fixing our things already. When Cassie suddenly told me, "Caly, kita na lang tayo sa Aristocrat. Susunod ako sayo na sakin kasi yung portfolio ni Fred eh, he needs it daw. You'll be fine going there alone, right?"
I simply nodded. Waiting for her would take a while because the building is like 20 minutes away from me plus crying for a whole lot of time made me so exhausted and also starving. I put my bag on my shoulder and walk my way out.
