"What is it, Miss Faye? I told you to hold all the calls unless it's Caly. Do you know how many pending works I have yet to check?"
"Sir, I can't-"
"Then do something!"
Hinampas ko ang mga kamay ko sa lamesa. I was beyond the schedule. The call can wait but my works can't. Damn it, this is long overdue. I have so many things to do. I saw her fidgeting pero hindi pa din siya umaalis. Do you want to get fired, Miss Faye? I told her that but what she said made me stop.
"Sir, the call from line 2 is from the Police. It's the case you filed. Should I tell them to call when you're available?"
My jaw ticked. I cleared my throat and silently gestured for her to leave. She obeyed. My office seemed to shrink and it was getting harder and harder to breathe. How long have I been trying to find him? God knows how long but is it real this time?
Sa totoo lang ang daming mutual cases but I hid all of them from Caly. I couldn't take to give her false hopes. Ayoko na siyang nakikitang nasasaktan. Martyrdom. Do I even have to beg to not disagree? Hahanapin ko ang taong mahal ng mahal ko? Pity. What a pity fuck. But then again, if he could make her happy? It's going to be worth it, right?
I wasn't going to be selfish like my father who chose what would make him happy and forget everyone in the way. The moment he stepped out of our home, I promised myself that I won't be making the same mistake twice. I wasn't going to be the apple that fell not far from the tree. He may have been the roots but I chose to be indifferent.
I was going to choose what would make my woman happy. And if this means I'll be able to give away my happiness, then so be it. I just hope I chose the right thing. One wrong move King and I'll be there willing to take her.
When I answered the phone, I was holding my breath. Do I dare tell you the good news when I get home, sweetheart? They have found him. How many times have I heard you cry from the other side of the room? Will this news make you stop from hurting? Will all of this be better if I run to you and tell you I have found your lover? I bit my lip. The drive to the police station was constricting. Para akong malalagutan ng hininga. Para akong naghahabol ng oras. Para akong nagmamadaling puntahan ang taong aagaw sa kaligayahan ko.
I smiled bitterly. Isn't that what you're doing, Herrero? You fucking fool?
If I can just be selfish...
I saw your man sitting at a bench inside the station and it made me stop. I couldn't tear my eyes away from him.
"Sir Herrero, magandang gabi po. Pasensya na po sa abala. Siya po yung isa sa mga tumugma sa mga deskripsyon niyo." What happened? "Nakita po siya ng mga tao na nakaupo sa isang beach sa Norte. Nagtaka po sila dahil mga ilang araw daw po itong pabalik-balik sa lugar pero ang ginagawa lang naman daw ay ang umupo doon at parang may hinihintay. Nung kinausap daw po nila, hindi naman daw po makausap ng maayos dahil hindi nagsasalita. Ang sabi po ng iba, nakita na daw po nila ito minsan na nagpunta sa lugar na yun pero may kasama daw po itong babae."
"Nung una daw po mukha namang mabait. Pero nagreport na daw po sila kagabi dahil habang nakaupo daw po ito ay bigla na lang nitong sinunggaban ang isang lalaki at pinagsusuntok ito. Sa ngayon po ay nasa hospital pa rin yun lalaki. Chineck po namin ang background nung lalaki at napagalaman po namin na may mga kaso po pala itong Rape. Nais po sana naming tanungin itong lalaking 'to para tumestigo pero hanggang sa ngayon ay hindi po siya nagsasalita."
"Tinawagan po namin kayo agad dahil nagtugma nga po ang deskripsyon niyo sa kanya. Siya ho ba yung hinahanap niyo, sir?"
I snapped from my thoughts and looked at the officer.
"Siya nga, chief. Pwede ko na ba siyang kunin?"
"Sige po sir. Kung maari lang po pirmahan niyo na lang po ito. Clearance na rin po ito sa medical niya dahil mukha pong may nangyari sa kanya. Kung nais niyo pong ipa-hospital siya, pu-pwede niyo pong kunin 'tong records na nakuha po namin."
He wasn't physically hurt. But the pain I see in his eyes is more than enough. Caly, are you prepared to see the man you love so broken? I have never witnessed such intensity and hollowness in the eyes of any man. The pain he was suffering from can even hurt the people that can see. Do I dare show her this man, whom she loves so dearly, while he's suffering?
I can't give you up to a weak man. Who would fight for your happiness?
I did what the officers told me and I walked up to him. You couldn't possibly accept weakness with open arms, King. This wasn't you the last time I saw you. Where is the strong man who threatened me months ago? Who is this man staring at nothing in front of me? This isn't you. You are better than this.
"Chief, ito na yung suman na pinagawa mo. May extra minatamis pa 'yan!"
"Uy saktong sakto! Teka, tawagin ko lang yung mga kasama ko. Magkano na ba lahat yan, Cali?"
I turned my head to see the officer talking to a girl named Cali. Akala ko- When I turned my head to look at Apollo but he wasn't there. What the-
"Sir! Sir! Ay ano ba yan?! Bigla bigla na lang pa lang may mangyayakap na pogi dito? Hello po! Kamusta naman po kayo? Sir! Ang higpit naman po ng yakap niyo. Bibili po ba kayong suman?"
God, this was worst.
The scene that was unfolding before me shocked me to my core. He was borderline insane. God, it made me want to punch him. Anong ginagawa mo, Apollo?
I immediately ran up to him.
"Miss, pasensya ka na."
"Caly, caly, caly..." His eyes were clouded. God, is this trauma? Is this what love can do? Sweetheart, what have you done?
What have you done?
I cleared my throat, "Apollo." But he wasn't listening.
I saw how the eyes of the girl widened. Probably scared of what's happening.
I had to do something.
No, I can't sweetheart. I'm sorry. I can't tell you right now. I have to fix him. This isn't the man you fell in love with. This isn't the man who protected you from me. This man is a lost man. I have to make him find his way back to you. This is something that I have to do. If I really am going to let you go, I'm going to let you be with the man who will be there for you, not this man who couldn't even find his self with everything.
I'll bring him back, sweetheart. I will.
