misery || b.e

texts

y/n took in a deep, shaky breath as she took billie's hand in hers before pushing the door open. everyone was visiting joshua in pairs and now that it was their turn, y/n knew she had to pull herself together.

billie squeezed y/n's fingers as they entered and the actress couldn't help but choke out a sob as her hands went up to her mouth when she saw him. her best friend lying there with wires connected to his body, looking sick and tired.

"josh." y/n whispered in a shaky voice as she walked up to him with billie by her side, watching as he gave her a tired smile. she stood next to his bed and held his hand, running her fingers over his knuckles.

it hurt her more than words could explain to see one of her favourite people lying here, looking so powerless and weak. joshua was always so full of life and love. she'd never imagined this would ever happen to him.

she couldn't help but frown when she thought of all the times she'd taken advice from him, or when he yelled at her, or when he straight up slapped her. without joshua, she wouldn't be able to think straight.

he was her lifeline. there was no doubt in that. and without him by her side, she knew she'd mess everything up. hell, she wouldn't even be with billie if it weren't for the several times josh drove some sense into her when she did something wrong.

she watched as he held up a peace sign with his other hand which made y/n laugh through her tears, knowing that was his signature pose. every picture of joshua, you'll see him holding a peace sign. it brought a slight smile on her face to see him be himself even when he was the sickest patient in the hospital.

"how are you?" she asked him softly as she took a seat on the chair next to his bed, billie doing the same as she pulled up a chair right beside y/n.

"i'm..not okay." joshua said with a slight laugh as he looked at his body.

"right, sorry. stupid question." y/n mumbled and she felt billie's hand reach for hers, squeezing her fingers every now and then to calm her down.

"i'm going to miss you, josh." she finally said after a few minutes of silence and she watched joshua's smile drop as he nodded.

"yeah, i know. i'm really going to miss you too." he said as he gazed into her eyes, a few tears threatening to fall from his.

"i'll miss you as well." billie spoke, her voice wavering.

joshua nodded as he wiped away his tears before sighing. "i'm going to miss you too, billie."

"y/n? josh's mom wants to have a moment with him." came claudia's voice as she peeked her head through the door. the actress sighed softly as she nodded, standing up before taking joshua's hand in hers. "i'll be back soon. i love you, okay? so much."

joshua smiled at her words before replying, "i love you so much more."

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it had been ten hours since y/n had learnt she was about to lose her best friend. she was still seated at the hospital with billie by her side, trying her hardest not to break down crying again.

she found it so unfair that joshua was the one who had to go through this. the most genuine, selfless person she'd ever met was about to lose his life.

she'd give her own life just to save his, if that was possible. because she'd rather die than be in a world without him.

the doctor was currently with joshua, checking his vitals and whatnot to see if there was anything they could do. he checked on josh every thirty minutes and this time, he was inside longer than usual.