misery || b.e

airport

"so this is it." y/n sighed as she took billie's hands in hers. y/n, joshua and a few others from the cast were supposed to go through security now, meaning billie wasn't allowed any further into the airport.

"this is it." billie repeated y/n's words as she held y/n's fingers tightly, willing herself not to cry. pull yourself together, she thought. she'll visit whenever she can.

but she knew both of them had hectic schedules, leaving little to no time for either of them to visit each other in the next eight months. "we'll be okay." billie spoke as she closed her eyes but it really seemed more like she was trying to reassure herself.

"hey. look at me." y/n said softly and billie slowly opened her eyes as she obliged. "we'll be okay. forever, right?"

she couldn't help the smile that took over her lips as she nodded. "yeah. forever."

"come here." y/n mumbled as she pulled billie into a hug, her arms wrapped around billie's body as billie held onto y/n tightly. "i love you. forever and ever."

billie let out a shaky sigh as she nodded, knowing she didn't have to say anything because y/n knew she felt the same way. she held y/n's shirt tighter as y/n rubbed her back.

slowly pulling away, billie looked up at y/n, her eyes fluttering to her lips. "kiss me." she whispered in a shaky voice which quite surprised y/n.

"kiss y- we're in public baby." y/n reminded her but billie only shook her head.

"i don't care. i want them to know about us." billie responded and y/n raised an eyebrow.

"what? billie i don't want you to do something you'll regret just because i'm leaving now. it's okay, we kissed goodbye in the car. i don't want to go public unless you're sure you're ready." y/n said sternly, taking billie's hands in hers.

"i've been thinking about this for a while and i'm sure. i want to go public." this was true, she really had been thinking long and hard for the past few weeks. she was ready, she knew she was. "please." she added, her voice breaking and y/n just couldn't resist anymore.

bringing one arm around billie's waist and the other resting on her jaw, y/n pulled billie closer and closed the gap between them, sealing their lips with a kiss. everyone else just disappeared. as cliche as it sounds, it felt like they were the only people in the world. in this moment, no one else mattered. just them.

after over ten months of sneaking around in public and trying to keep their relationship a secret, it was freeing to be out. and billie knew she wouldn't regret a single thing.

they pulled away slowly, smiling at each other as butterflies swarmed their stomachs. they knew there were people taking pictures and videos around them, people screaming and whistling. but right now they couldn't care less. they could only care about each other.

"i love you." billie whispered as she rested her head on y/n's chest. "always."

"and i love you." y/n replied, kissing the top of her head as she hugged her tight.

"please don't find someone else." billie whispered in a shaky voice and y/n immediately tensed up.

"what?" she asked, pulling away immediately to look into billie's eyes.

"when you're in new york. i just- i love you so much, i don't think i can handle it if you find someone else." billie mumbled only loud enough for y/n to hear.

"hey, hey listen to me." y/n said softly as she placed her hands on billie's shoulders. "it's you. it's always been you and it always will be you. no matter what. i'm not finding anyone else, god no. never. you and me forever. you know that."

billie looked down at her feet before looking back up at y/n. "you promise?"

"i promise, love. there's no one i'd rather be with." y/n assured her and a smile broke out on billie's face.

"me neither." billie admitted and y/n chuckled softly as she pulled her in for a sweet kiss.

"y/n we have to go." joshua said with a sad smile, not wanting to separate the two. his girlfriend was joining them on the trip since she had a house in new york but unfortunately billie couldn't join.

y/n pulled away with a sigh and nodded at josh. "one sec." she said before turning her attention back to her girlfriend.

"call me everyday. i'll text you whenever i can. and i'll try taking some time off to visit you." y/n spoke as she stroked billie's hair. "i love you. don't forget that, okay?"

billie nodded, trying her best to put on a smile. "i love you too." she whispered before letting go of y/n's hands which she'd involuntarily held on to. "take care for me. don't do anything stupid."

"i'll try." y/n laughed softly which made billie smile. "bye billie."

"bye y/n." billie said with a nod, still plastering a smile on her face. she couldn't cry here, she'd do it when she got home.

she let out a shaky sigh when y/n gave her a wave and turned around as she began walking towards security. as much as she wanted to let her go, billie couldn't. not without one last kiss.

"y/n, wait!" she spoke as she walked towards her. y/n stopped in her tracks and turned around, only for billie's plump lips to be pushed against hers, her hands immediately finding it's way around billie's waist.

billie leaned in as far as possible as she let the kiss go on for a few seconds, knowing this was their last kiss until god knows when. she wasn't ready to let go just yet.

billie's hands rested on y/n's shoulders, pushing herself closer to the actress' body as she smiled into the kiss. she was going to miss this.

biting softly on billie's bottom lip, y/n pulled away much to billie's dismay. but she knew it had to be done. "i love you." y/n whispered as she pulled her hands back to herself.

"i love you." billie smiled. y/n then leaned in to place a soft kiss on billie's cheek and she was off. for eight months.

billie let out a soft sigh as she watched y/n and the rest of the group walking towards security, running her fingers through her hair before turning to face her bodyguard who'd been standing a few feet away from her.

nodding at him, she began making her way back to her car with her head hanging low. she was in no mood to interact with paparazzi right now. she just wanted to go home and cuddle shark.

and that's exactly what she did. she drove home and plopped down on the sofa, patting the spot next to her which made shark jump up before settling down there.

she looked at the time before petting shark. 3:42 pm. y/n flight was scheduled to take off at 4.

as if on cue, she received a call from her girlfriend which she immediately answered with a smile on her face. "hey baby."

"hi angel, just boarded. we're about to take off soon." y/n's voice rang in her ears and billie immediately eased into the couch.

"have a safe flight my love and text me when you land." billie spoke softly, her heart fluttering as she pictured y/n's face in her mind.

"i will, mama. i love you."

"i love you too." billie responded with a smile.

"i have to go now. bye pretty girl." and with that she hung up, leaving billie with a blush on her cheeks. she just loved it when y/n called her that.

a sigh escaped her lips as she threw her phone on the couch, running her fingers through her hair. it had only been two hours but she already missed y/n. shark sensed that she was feeling down and hopped onto her lap which made the singer laugh as she pat his head.

she knew she had nothing to be worried about. she trusted y/n. and she knew y/n loved her just as much as she loved y/n.

but that tiny voice in her head wouldn't shut up. it kept saying six words over and over again.

what if she found someone better?

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nfsa is so good what😭 the way she sings "my whole world just fell apart"????

thanks for reading <3