misery || b.e

blocked

y/n got no sleep that night. all she could think about was what joshua had yelled at her for. now that she thought about it, billie really didn't deserve any of the shit y/n put her through.

she made her girlfriend cry. and on her birthday of all days. she felt terrible, she knew she was a horrible girlfriend. while doing what she thought was protecting her favourite person, she ended up hurting her instead. and she hated herself for that.

she reached for her phone and went through her texts, noticing that billie was online.

she quickly sat up straight as her mind began racing. it was midnight in new york which meant 3am in la. what was billie doing up?

she slowly typed out a message, hesitating a little before hitting send.

y/n
you're awake?
seen

y/n furrowed her eyebrows. billie had just left her on read. was she still mad at her?

y/n
billie?? baby answer me
message not sent

a pop up appeared at the bottom of the screen as y/n squinted to read it. she gasped out loud when she realized what it said. billie had blocked her.

"shit." y/n muttered under her breath before throwing her phone to the other side of the bed.

she hid her face in her hands as she groaned loudly, tugging at her hair before falling back on the bed. she was terribly frustrated - more so with herself than anyone else.

she knew she was being a complete bitch. she just wished she could talk things out with billie before anything could happen.

she certainly wouldn't know what to do if billie broke up with her.

shaking her head, she got that thought out of her head. billie definitely wouldn't break up with her. they were forever after all, right?

"you need to get your shit together." she said to herself as she ran her fingers over her face. "billie deserves better."

as she thought about how hurt billie must be, she couldn't help but let the tears fall. she hurt the one person who she loved more than anyone. and she never meant to, she thought she was protecting billie by hiding the truth. it was only then that she realized how stupid it was.

she sobbed softly as she went over everything that she'd done to hurt billie. how could she have been such an idiot? billie didn't deserve this, she deserved the world.

joshua was right. she was such a bitch to billie. she needed to make things right as soon as possible.

-----------------

y/n knocked on the door of joshua's trailer as she shifted nervously from one foot to another. they were currently on set, joshua still getting ready to film while y/n had been ready for a few minutes now.

the door soon swung open, revealing joshua with a raised eyebrow. "yes?"

"uhm," y/n began, looking down at the floor. "can i come in?"

joshua nodded slowly before opening the door wider for y/n to enter. she climbed up the steps as she went inside the trailer, sitting down on one of the chairs.

joshua closed the door before sitting across from y/n, waiting for her to speak up.

"i'm sorry." y/n said as she looked at her best friend. "you were right. i really was being a bitch."

joshua nodded as he gestured for her to continue. "i want to do better, i really do. i mean, billie is an angel. she deserves the fucking world. and i want to give her what she deserves."