misery || b.e

two weeks

two weeks.
fourteen days.
twenty thousand, one hundred and sixty minutes.
one million, two hundred and nine thousand, six hundred seconds.

that's how long ago billie had broken things off with y/n.

and yet, somehow, she was the one who couldn't get out of bed.

billie saw all the pictures. y/n was back in new york to continue filming, seemingly having the time of her life. she saw it, she saw all of it.

how did she look so happy while billie was here, barely getting any sleep at all?

it wasn't fair. it wasn't fair at all. billie had broken up with her for the sake of her own happiness. she'd managed to put herself first for once.

but when was the happiness supposed to kick in?

she pulled the covers over her, sniffling. her head was killing her, the room was spinning, she felt so weak. she hadn't eaten in four days, and it was getting to her. she knew she should eat something, but the mere thought of food made her sick to her stomach.

she hesitantly reached for her phone as she opened instagram, feeling a punch to her gut as she saw a different set of pictures. y/n looked so fucking happy, almost like the break up had never happened.

it's not like there were pictures of y/n with a new girl but god, maybe even that might hurt less. that would at least give billie a reason to be angry, a proper reason for y/n to be happy.

but how did she look so happy just two weeks after their break up? how was it even possible?

did billie mean nothing to her?

don't get her wrong, billie wanted y/n to be happy. she wanted nothing more than for her to be happy. but.. did she have to be so happy so soon? she didn't want to sound selfish, but it all just hurt far too much. she didn't understand how y/n could look so happy while she hadn't stepped out of home in two weeks.

she didn't know what to do with herself.

meanwhile, y/n was out in a pizza booth with some of her castmates, enjoying some food after a long day of filming.

she laughed at something joshua said, shaking her head. god, billie would've loved that joke. she'd have to text her about it.

she pulled her phone out to text billie, only to stop in her tracks when she realized.

she couldn't do that anymore.

this was how it always happened. she'd be happy, or at least trying to be, and everything would hit her all at once.

she was never one to let herself feel her emotions. she was always so used to burying them so deep down and internalizing them. she had just been drowning herself in work, trying to complete forget about the fact that her and billie had broken up.

it was moments like these that flipped a switch in her, suddenly reminding her about everything that had happened.

and she hated it.

she let out a shaky breath as she shoved her phone back in her pocket, now completely zoned out of the conversation. she'd been having so much fun two seconds ago, and now she just wanted to curl up in bed.

she didn't know what to do with herself either.

she hadn't really let herself feel any of the pain since they'd broken up. there'd been moments like this where it would all suddenly hit her all at once, but she'd always managed to shove it to the back of her head. she knew she wouldn't be able to stop crying if she started, and that was her biggest fear.

she'd been so focused on work, just trying her best to not think about all that had happened. but it was proving to be so much more difficult than she'd thought.

she wanted nothing more than to be with her girl.

but billie wasn't her girl anymore. and as much as it hurt, she had to deal with that.

y/n's ears perked up the second she heard that laugh, that all too familiar laugh that she'd been dying to hear but at the same time, was so terrified of.

she could recognize that laugh anywhere.

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🫣🫣

thanks for reading <3