misery || b.e

different worlds

billie trudged up the stairs, ready to hit the bed. she couldn't bear to stay awake any longer knowing she'd just hurt y/n again. letting her go for the second time proved to be harder than expected. and all she wanted to do was fall asleep to escape reality.

but the moment she entered her bedroom, it hit her like a truck. everything looked so different and only then did she realize that y/n owned half of the things that used to be there.

she noticed a few missing picture frames and y/n's empty closet, but what she noticed next chipped away a piece of her heart.

she let out a soft gasp when she found her promise ring thrown on the floor, having completely forgotten that she'd removed it a few days ago because she didn't want to get it dirty while playing outside with shark.

y/n had found it.

billie went into panic mode, realizing that y/n had probably thought that she removed it because she didn't love her anymore. and her suspicions were soon confirmed when she spotted the locket she'd given y/n on her bedside table.

she slipped the promise ring onto her finger and slowly walked over to the bedside table to take the chain, holding it up as she examined it. she felt tears prick her eyes as she opened the locket and found the picture of them, so young and naive. not ready for the horrible things life was about to throw at them. unaware of the fate of their relationship.

she sat down on the bed as she started bawling, her heart hurt and empty. it just hit her that she'd lost y/n forever. all because she thought she'd be happier.

so when will the happiness kick in?

she leaned back and rested her back against the headboard while crying out loud, unable to keep it in anymore. she felt like such a horrible person for breaking things off with y/n just for the sake of her happiness.

but she'd talked to y/n about it before. several times. she'd told her how much it hurt her when she wasn't there to witness her achievements. so while she may not have talked to her about wanting to break things off, she'd definitely told her about how she felt. and yet, y/n had made no effort to come see her.

but then again, maybe billie was being too demanding. she knew y/n had a job which required a lot of time and effort and maybe y/n just couldn't slip away.

but..was it really so hard to take a day off just to witness at least one of her moments? or at least call her to let her know she wouldn't be able to make it instead of telling her at the very last minute and giving her false hope?

her whole body shook as she sobbed into her trembling hands, feeling her heart hurt more and more with every possible second. she loved y/n more than she'd ever loved anyone. probably more than she'll ever love anyone. but she had to let her go, she couldn't have stayed any longer. she was far from happy, and so was y/n.

but she couldn't help but think it was her fault for expecting too much.

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you don't make me happy anymore.

those words wouldn't leave y/n's mind no matter how hard she tried to forget. she couldn't process that billie had said she didn't make her happy.

making billie happy was one of y/n's top priorities and hearing that she'd failed to do so hurt her more than anyone could ever imagine.

she felt this empty feeling in her stomach as she sat in joshua's guest bedroom, staring at nothing in particular.

all she'd ever wanted was to make billie happy.

though she'd left the locket at billie's place, she was still wearing her promise ring and she fiddled with it as she just thought. she'd really believed billie was the one. she was sure they were forever. she'd expected them to get married.