All the tears I've wept (dabihawks)

Chapter 15

Unlike the time before this when I had passed out I awoke by myself and thankfully no one slapped me while I was asleep this time.

"Oh he's awake!" I heard a familiar high pitched voice come from the other side of the weirdly colored room I was in.

My name was also yelled excitedly from around the same area as well and I felt warm arms latch onto me. I immediately knew that it was Rumi because of the white hair that was thrown into my face.

"Hey Rums," I said my voice scratchy. "What happened?" I asked her even though Jess was the one to respond. 

"You wen't all psycho crazy! And then I stabbed you with one of  the needles I found on the side of a medical table." She said kind of mundane. 

"YOU DID WHAT?" I yelled. 

"I gave you some sleep juice from the needle I found on the side table." 

"So let me get this straight, you took a probably non-sterile needle full of a unknown dose of what you call sleep juice and just stuck it in me hoping that i'd wake up?" I asked. 

"YEP!" 

"Goddamn Jess your killing me." I sighed. 

"You owe me a lot more money now." 

"YOU BROUGHT THE SWEAR JAR TABLE?!" 

"YEP!" She exclaimed. 

"I'm gonna get off of you now." Rumi said clearly uncomfortable with where this conversation was going pushing off of me and standing up again. 

"Yeah that might be a good idea." I groaned trying to push myself off of the surprisingly soft cot that I had been placed on. Hey that kind reminded me of Toya's cuddles I used to get when I was sad. That's when it hit me, that's when I remembered what had happened. Gods no,no,no,no,no, no, hell no.

Dabi

Toya 

He was here and I fucking hurt him. Hurt him even worse then I already had fuck no. 

No, no!

It wasn't my fault I could be mad at him he left me he left. 

But why? 

It was because of me wasn't it that was the answer.

No, no, no, no, no. 

I should die I need to die. 

My heart was going haywire and I could tell my breath was coming in faster and that I was sweating. 

 "Kei? Hey Kei you okay?" I heard Rumi ask me from somewhere. 

Where?

I don't know, I had closed my eyes everything was easier when I closed my eyes I could pretend that I was sleeping and everything was better when I was sleeping. God I wanted to just fall asleep, just fall asleep and wake up next to Toya again, but the world wasn't like that. The world doesn't stop for anyone it just keeps spinning. 

That's why it'd be better if I were asleep. 

Or dead. 

Dead. 

It'd be better if I was dead, no one would get hurt. 

Especially the ones I cared about.

Especially Toya. 

Toya.

Toya. 

Help me please. I needed Toya even though he was the one who was actively trying to hurt me. I never wanted things to end like this.