All the tears I've wept (dabihawks)

Chapter 27

It was silent, completely silent. 

Not a single word was uttered. 

Dabi and I had been in separate rooms for the entire train ride which was good, other wise who knew what the hell we'd get into. 

We also weren't going to be on the train for much longer. 

Unfortunately that men't I'd have to spend time with Dabi, I didn't even know what to do. 

I was scared of getting angry again, of hurting him. 

I didn't want to hurt him again. 

Fuck. 

I didn't even know what to do or how to talk to him, I didn't want to I wanted to hit him. 

I wanted to hurt my friend the one who used to care so much, who I used to care for so much, I wanted to hurt him.

Fuck. 

Whenever I saw him I had to see everything I didn't want to see again, I had pushed everything from my past away and then here he comes in all his fucking glory out of the fucking blue like nothing ever FUCKING HAPPENED! 

And he went though worse! I wasn't there for him so he went through something even fucking worse then the commission! And then I just felt bad because then I couldn't talk to him and fuck, i'm just so fucking tired. 

So fucking tired. 

I could've just told Toshitsu or Rumi and everything would be fine but I couldn't, for some reason I couldn't

Rumi wen't through the same thing, albeit a lot less bad sense she wasn't the one that they had picked specifically for whatever I was going to be used for. 

I just wanted to go home. 

I never asked for this, I never ever asked to be born with these stupid wings, it's all my parents fault, or maybe it was the commissions or maybe even mine. 

It was just so much easier to blame something on someone and then just feel better about it.

But that's not how it works is it?

Everything has a different side, you always have to look at something differently. 

There's never a straight answer is there?

Why did everything have to be so complex? 

Why did I have to be complex? 

I looked over my shoulder, over the grey seats out the window, trying to calculate how long we'd been on the train, since there were no phones allowed which made a lot of sense. 

But that also made it kind of suspicious because All for One would definitely notice the lack of heroes which might mean he notices what we're doing.

Funny thing I was more nervous about even approaching Dabi.

Toya. 

Dabi. 

Then fighting off All for One, or getting hurt. 

I didn't know why I was so scared, I couldn't figure it out. 

Maybe I was scared of the idea her never cared about me at all. 

That everything was superficial 

Just like him. 

Just like me. 

Maybe just like all of us. 

Fuck I was just so scared. 

It didn't help that I was stuck in a small place, my wings felt cramped and over sensitive, it hurt my head.