All the tears I've wept (dabihawks)

Chapter 36

I wanted to vomit again. 

Or hug Dabi. 

Or cry.

Or maybe all fucking three. 

But I couldn't stop running, we weren't out yet, I had to keep running. 

What was weird is that I felt so good, so good with my hand in his. 

It was rough and soft at the same time and he was holding it, never mind the fact we were fuckin running away, it felt like when we were kids again. 

Like I was home. 

I felt something warm fill my throat. 

Maybe it was hope, or happiness. 

Maybe it was vomit. 

Eh I tasted it in my fucking mouth. 

Yeah definitely vomit. 

But still the thought was nice eh? 

I held down my nausea as I kept running, the burning feeling in my legs comparing in no way to how free I was feeling, compared in no way to the smell of rain and wind.

I felt so much different running than I did before, I don't feel like i'm going to cry or fall apart or bleed out or have a panic attack. 

I feel. 

Good? 

Not quite good, but close enough. 

Close enough will work for now. 

We kept running for who knows how long, nothing in my mind except fear and excitement until Dabi suddenly pulled me against himself and into a crevice in-between two pieces of land. It was more or less a smaller cave with sharp rough rocks that reminded me of shark teeth poking at my lower leg. 

"What the hell are we doing?" I asked slightly gasping for breath. 

"Hiding, well trying to at least," Dabi responded he was breathing just as heavily as me, but he tried to hide it the best he could. 

He was always trying to hide things. 

An awkward silence washed over us like the giant waves bouncing off the shore, almost reaching the top of the docks I used to run on. 

"Where are the others?" I asked quickly realizing that I forgot the absence of a few other people in our group, "Do you think they're okay?" I asked again feeling my face contort into a frown. Dabi simply rolled his eyes as he pulled me slightly closer, 

"Ke-Hawks i'm sure they're fine you don't need to worry so much," He said with a joking glint in his eye. 

He was nervous too, slightly but he was still nervous, I could tell because he always liked to joke when he was scared, never liked to show it. So when his horror showed up on his face I didn't feel too safe either. 

I almost missed the cut off Ke, he almost called me Keigo again. 

I felt like he shouldn't call me that, like he didn't deserve too after abandoning me but at the same time I craved it for some reason. 

Maybe I just wanted things to just be at least a little bit normal again. 

Even though I knew they never would be again, maybe I could just pretend like I do everything else. 

God I wish everything would be normal again. 

I suddenly heard something approaching us, Dabi shrunk back and I came forward trying to make myself look bigger in the presence of a threat.