Homeless Vain

08

I found something precious whilst reading my old diary the other day. A picture from high school.

If I remembered it correctly, it was taken on the last day of school, the very last day we wore the school uniform.

In the picture, me and Evelyn were hugging each other in the middle, Faye next to me tilting her head towards mine while Daisy next to Evelyn, messing with her hair. In front of us were Jacob and Kevin ducked down, looking good as usual even with only thumbs up.

There were so many things I wanted to say about this picture. There were so many emotions consuming me at the moment I found it. 

I'd never thought of abandoning this picture, maybe I had accidentally thrown it into the box while tidying my room.

I sent it in the group chat we finally had and the replies were crazy. Most of them were reminiscing that particular day until Chanhee appeared dramatically for his non-existence in the picture.

Well, like I said, he was only an acquaintance. I knew him as a friend of the boys who lives near Evelyn's house. So maybe, on that particular day, neither me nor the girls felt the importance to keep him close for a picture.

I felt bad for admitting things like this but my perspective on him had changed on the day we met again at the cafe. 

Let's say I regretted not to befriend him more than an acquaintance more earlier.

A little reminisce; me and Evelyn were in a big argument once. Too big that I thought it was the end to our friendship which had left Faye and Daisy dumbfounded on how to have us back.

However, the person who had miraculously brought us back together was Kevin.

The effort he did back then was unexpected. None of us were expecting to have him coming to each of us and talked.

And like he really had a superpower, both of me and Evelyn were effected to his persuasion and eventually made up.

Up until today, we'd agreed that we owed Kevin for this sister-like friendship.

"Damn!" I cursed underneath my breath, realizing that I probably would be late for the meeting with the publishing team. "Mother, I'm leaving."

I ran to the front door, swiftly shoving my feet into the pair of sneakers I reached from the shoe rack. My mother then appeared for a hug and kiss like a tradition before I went out.

"You know that you have an hour left right?" she always said that everytime I had to go to the publisher. In fact, she was correct.

The journey would take only 30 minutes but I preferred to arrive at the venue half an hour early. They said, I'm punctual but I simply thought that I'm just anxious.

"I'll eat my breakfast first later," I winked, taking the pack of toast mother had prepared. 

She stayed in our porch like a routine, watching me reversing the car into the driveway until my dark purple car disappeared from her sight.

My friends always envied me for this. They thought it was a thing that only someone with no siblings could have but I was thinking differently. 

Though it's a bit improper for me to say this, but from the back of my head, I knew my mother was just being a paranoid. My father left the world for over a decade already and she had no one other than me, so she tended to be what she was.

But, they didn't know the real hardship I went through as the only child in this family. Especially the one who lived with a mother without a father.

It's hard, physically and mentally.