Homeless Vain

50

Anywhere near him was hard.

I was having a hard time keeping my composure, and not letting myself sway again. Within 1 hour of keeping up with a book in my hand, I must say I had been focusing on the fiction for about 15 minutes. Another 45 minutes had me focused on my storyline.

Me and Kevin used to review different books and exchange storylines with each other. If he found a book that had met his liking, he would ask me to give it a try and said, "I'm sure you will like it."

Or if I recommended a book that I'd read, he would say, "I'd always trusted your choice."

And now, I was dying to show him the content of the book I read. But no, I couldn't do it!

Adapting to something new surely will take some time.

"You have to stick with your decision Ivy," shutting my eyes while placing a hand on my chest, I was certain this time. "He may be here today but tomorrow when he's gone, you probably will be insane again."

I opened my eyes, pushing some strands of hair that had been covering my eyes due to the blowing breeze to the back of my ears.

"Everything... will be fine.." I said rather slowly, slightly choking at my own words.

At this point, I was sure that in his eyes, I was only a mere friend, nothing more. If I was important in his life, he must have rushed back home when Jacob told him that I was sick.

But he didn't. And that was the strongest proof not only me but anyone could've seen.

Confidence in me had slowly come back, engulfing me in its own bubble as I stared far across the wide ocean.

Love may not always keep us together.

"Maybe that's right..."

"What is right?"

Oh no...

My head slowly moved in its orbit to see the person who had plopped down next to me. Why must I turn around? I needn't find out who was it, I already figured out who it was by the voice.

Halfway turned and found his smiley face, I returned to the view of the ocean.

He will leave again, just ignore - I told myself

"New book?" Kevin asked, pointing to the opened book in my hand. And I stayed stoic, ignoring him. He leaned even nearer to peek over its content, inviting a familiar feeling inside my chest. "Seems interesting. Finish it first and let me know how it's going."

How could he converse with me too casually after those months of ignoring me?

I stayed silent, resuming reading though I wasn't focusing.

"Oh! You went for a skydiving last week, didn't you? Where is that?" I almost flinched at his question.

He asked me that question simply meant; he viewed my social media. Because the day Daisy and I went there, we didn't inform anyone in the group chat. The only information one could get was through the social media.

What a nice game it is.

"I've always wanted to go for one but cannot find the nearer place. Maybe you should show me that place one day," he continued which made me slam my book closed, whining as I shut my eyes off.

"Why are you talking to me again? I'm doing good already..." At that very moment, all the confidence to move on had now vanished. Sucking in a deep breath, I looked for his eyes that were too clueless, probably shocked to see me like this. "Is that what you need from me now?"