Homeless Vain

37

"How does it feel?"

"Pardon?" I blinked towards him who was skimming the book in his grasp.

I heard and understood the question. I just couldn't answer because it was too abrupt and I lost the way from where had it come.

He let out a small chuckle, putting back the book in its original place. "How does it feel to have witnessed your work being displayed like this?"

"Ah..." I crossed my arms, looking at the occupied shelf. "Surreal. It feels surreal."

He bobbed his head, expressing his understanding or was it actually a sign of agreeing?

Was it weird if I said I was glad that he was giving a response to me? Even by asking questions.

Honestly, I was not done yet studying him. Though we were talking, I noticed the glow on his face that had never been out of sight was now missing. He was still using that forceful smile and was pushing himself to socialize.

Why was that?

Does he have problems?

But, all this time, he had always come to me if he really had one. No matter whether it was day or night, he would always come to me. Even Chanhee and Jacob agreed because he didn't go to them, but me.

So, if he had one, why didn't he come to me this time?

"Ivy, how does it feel when you write?"

Okay, another jumpscare. I even frowned at its abruptness and I was sure he noticed. Because that small chuckle from between his lips was heard too clearly in my ears.

I did it again, didn't I? Wearing a feeling on my face?

"Well," I shrugged, composing myself back. "It may or may not sound ridiculous, but I feel light."

His brows moved towards each other, his thin lips slightly apart with few blinks, just like how I'd imagined he would look, just how I'd expected. He was indeed confused.

"Sorry. Come again," his arms crossed on top of his chest, he was now extra focused just like how he did back then in class, when he had difficulty understanding Algebra.

And it was my turn to chuckle, for his reaction was too priceless to be ignored.

It took me a solid 30 seconds to calm down. His funny frowning as I started hitting him once got me cackling hard, resulting in me constantly hitting his bulky biceps. He almost sent me rolling on the floor if it hadn't for my dress.

"Stop it, Kevin!"

"I didn't do anything Ivy," he seemed desperate to defend himself. The way he said my name was rather stern but I liked it.

I sucked in a deep breath, wiping my undereye that had been damped by the tears formed.

"Okay, I'm okay," I raised both of my palms over my chest as if I was doing a step of tai chi, he suddenly burst into a fit of laughter. "Kevin!"

When would this topic stop being discussed if what we did was only laugh?

Eventually, after constantly scolding ourselves for being too unserious, and an effort not to be easily entertained by the opponent, we finally calmed down, getting enveloped in the seriousness again.

"I chose to be a writer because I feel trapped. Everything I see, every feeling I feel, and every thoughts I have all were trapped in my head but I couldn't let it out to just anyone. I feel that nobody will understand me and it'll be useless even to tell," I paused, suddenly Sangyeon's voice telling me that he noticed everything I did echoed in my head. "But, I'm sure there must be someone in this world that will understand me. They probably don't know me but they can relate. So, I decided to let all of them out in the form of writing."