Homeless Vain

38

There was one time when I still dared to socialize, going to every party and feast I was invited to and not having this anxiety among crowds.

I originally hated crowds but I was once good at handling my emotions whenever I had to join one.

Until one thing changed my life - wholly.

There was a rumor flying around my neighborhood, spreading to every door like some kind of contagious virus. Most of them were infected, but it never reached my doorstep.

I don't know how it started, but someone had sparked a rumor about me calling off a wedding at the very last minute, refused to pay for the complete preparation done by the vendors and the worst part, there was a close acquaintance of my mother who took care of everything out of pity.

I was shocked when I first heard it. As far as I remember, I never had a plan to get married nor I was planning to. And from where had it come to say that I had called off the wedding?

My mother. Instead of receiving comfort words from her, what I got was only her ranting about how people probably eyed her at every feast she went to, and what people might have talked behind her back.

What she cared about was only her image and the POV of people who probably disliked us.

And eventually, I'd lost trust in everyone. I couldn't bring myself to meet anyone outside my house. I started distancing myself from the neighbors and only went out to somewhere with familiar faces.

Who knows if the eyes that were looking at me intently and the sweet smiles that were flashing toward me were actually fake? Who knows if they were the ones who started the rumor?

"We thought it was you..."

"We've heard about it.."

They heard, and they knew yet they never had the conscience to ask for the truth. Instead, they spread it out more, until it blended well with the air, shooting daggers through the eyes of people who were watching me walking everywhere.

A soft touch caressing my hair had woken me up, fluttering my eyes open to adjust to the ambiance of light in my room. A gentle smile from Faye was the first thing greeting me.

"You're frowning even in your sleep," she said, helping me up. "A dream?"

"Nightmare," I corrected, wrapping my sore throat with my sweaty palm. Faye handed me the glass of water from my nightstand, knowing very well that I needed it.

Downing it, her palm was placed on my forehead, checking the temperature.

"Your fever has gone down a bit," she confirmed, retreating her hand back. She seemed to notice my busy eyes skimming around despite my half-conscious state and she tried to guess. "Need your phone?"

"Yes.."

She lunged towards my desk, reaching for the device before shoving it into my grasp.

Didn't wait long, I unlocked it wishing that something could've fulfilled my desire but to no avail, nothing was seen.

Unknowingly I sighed, giving it a hint to the girl beside me. "Are you perhaps waiting for Kevin's text?"

I didn't answer, instead I sighed.

3 days after the incident, and he didn't contact me at all. I couldn't figure what was the reason. Could it be that his untold problem was still a matter or my state that he accidentally witnessed was playing a big part in it?

"Maybe he thought that mingling around someone vulnerable like me would be a fuss. I mean, look at me now. Who would fall sick just because of a trauma?" I tugged a handful of my hair and later Faye gently removed it.