Homeless Vain

47

Moving on is not as easy as how we say it.

Reading the same book again will never change the ending.

It was correct but I still found it hard. I'd once moved on from Kevin back then, I should've been okay this time. For I would be doing the same thing again.

But, I had underestimated things. It was different this time. The ability Kevin Moon had to make me fall for him twice is too powerful.

Contrary to the sleepless night of thinking why I couldn't be his, countless times of crying to accept the fact that all the events we went through together were in vain, and the missing confidence to fall in love again after being fed with numerous 'he doesn't like you', I managed to survive.

I survived my day with the help of my friends who had come up with an idea on one fine day while I was staring outside soullessly through the window in my room.

"Healing!" Faye chimed in, and all heads moved, following her voice. "This is the time for us to explore the world."

It sounded fancy, didn't it? - Just to let you know that it wasn't, but it managed to distract me.

The three of them had planned by themselves to take turns, accompanying me with various activities filled in.

"Need to use it wisely before Ivy returns to writing," Daisy said as she and Andy picked me up at home and took me out to a mountain.

Watching sunrise or sunset? - No.

They brought me - more to force me, to go hiking!

Never once in my life, I'd ever imagined letting my passive self go hiking. I did try once and vowed not to again because it was hard to deal with voices in my head that constantly asked, 'What if some animals come out?' , 'Is it safe to step here?' or 'Is that green thing actually a snake..?'

While Faye had taken me out to various places. Most of them were cafes.

"Cafe hopping is our concept!" she said but the worst part was, a minute later she would ask, "Where is next?"

At this rate, I was sure that her concept wasn't visiting cafes, but forcing me to do the research, googling up all the existing cafes.

Nice try.

I didn't bias anyone but so far, the best one was Evelyn. We visited cats a lot considering that we love the creature. Hadn't for my mother who despised cats, I might have raised one in my house.

Above all, thanks to all the efforts, I felt livelier.

Sitting in the living room, viewing all the pictures we took, and replying to comments under the photos I uploaded to my social media, I'd found the real distractions I needed. Either to ease the stress of dealing with my mother or to move on from someone.

But...

It came to my realization that I hadn't fully moved on yet from him. I managed to forget him for a while just because I had something else to do and he wasn't anywhere near me.

The thought of him eventually came back squeezing between those things I did throughout my day when I asked myself, 'How it would be if I do this with him?'

From there I knew, Kevin Moon was still somewhere in my head and maybe all these efforts would be useless if suddenly he appeared in front of me.

"I think Sangyeon is already here," my mother said, peeking through the window from the living room we were in. "Ask him to come in. I'll prepare the snacks."