Wilder Dreams

Chapter 77

"I'm glad we got more opinions" Alex tells me, as I sit down at the kitchen table. I have been mentally exhausted from so many therapy and consultations. I've been referred to many doctors and therapies from so many sources. I am absolutely grateful, however there's a lot of hope going around and I don't want anything to ruin it.

"Me too Alex but I am tired." I sigh, setting my elbows on the table and supporting my head up as I lean over. She takes as a hint to sit down by me, she gently lays her hand on my knee. She has been my rock since the beginning, and I can't thank her enough. Alex has been a Saint, I can't even imagine how tired she is too. Flying through, playing and training. I've told her that it'd be fine, but she constantly assures me that she wouldn't want to be doing anything else.

"Everything will be better before you know it Sage"

Alex Morgan, I can't even come to define how special she is. Even after everything, she always tried to protect me, going unnoticed sometimes but it didn't make it any less. It's been a very long journey coming into this new time of living. Catching up with time lost with my kids, and the new accomplishments of my fellow teammates. The most stressful situation coming back too, is Tobin/ Alex situation. I know how much Tobin loves me, and she brought out the light in me when it was so dark. From lies and deceit, but at the time I didn't know Alex was just protecting me. Tobin is peaceful and it's homey, and Alex? She's home away from home. Worst of all, this must be so confusing for my kids, they are use to both of them but don't even know who too call their second parent because of me. Spending all this time with Alex, reminded me of how much I really missed her. She wasn't just my girlfriend, she was my best friend. The one who brought so much out of me, and broke my walls down when I wasn't even looking for that.

"Thank you Al, sometimes I need to be reminded." I break myself out of my thoughts. She gives me am encouraging smile, before she gets up and walks over to the counter. As I admire her, and watch her discreetly. Pouring herself a cup of water, we quickly here the sound of multiple footsteps making their way over from the hallway. My daughter turns the corner, to probably see if I was home.

"Hey mom! How was the doctor visit?" Savanah asks me, and might I just say. She has grown up so much and it amazes me how mature she is for her age. I'm glad they left her to Carli, her and her brother were fortunate enough to be left with someone good. Foster homes can be the absolute worst.

"It went well, so far we've gotten good opinions" I explain to her, in best form I know she can comprehend without getting her hopes up. I know my kids want me to play and do what makes me happy, but I can't get my guard down.

She looks over to Alex, and gives her a slight eyebrow. It was her "give me more information because this knuckle head isn't" face. She gets that from Carli, for sure.

"What your mother probably meant to say is that, we've been getting good news lately. With more treatment and therapy, the doctor thinks your mom will be able to play soccer some day" She tells her confidently, which makes me internally sigh. Like I said, too much hope going around..

"Wait, like actually!?" Savanah gets excited, and she pulls out the chair in front of me and sits down. She scoots closer too me, with the biggest grin on her face.

"Mom that's awesome!....so why the long face?"

I place my hand on her shoulder.

"We shouldn't get our hopes up, it's just statistics"

"I heard that's a hard class" She quickly interjected, making me giggle at her little outburst of remarks she's been doing. I can always count on my kids to make light out of any situation just too keep everyone else at bay. I already told them it wasn't their obligation but I also wasn't going to tell my kids that what they do wasn't enough.

"Anyway Dale, where's your other partner in crime Chip huh?" I ask her as I push a few strands of hair behind her ear.

"He's outside with Aunt Carlos, because Connor found a baby deer by itself." Alex and I chuckle, looking at each other.

"Yeah sounds about right" I say too them both. Alex smiles at me lovingly, which I can't help but turn around and blush. Savanah tells us she'll be going to see how Connor is doing outside with the poor deer. Leaving Alex and I in the kitchen, which isn't awkward anymore like it was in the beginning.

She takes her seat next too me again, with her mug in hand.

"I've been meaning to talk too you about something" She tells me nervously, as she rubs her thumb vigorously on the handle of the mug. I nodded my head, to give her any indication to continue. She presses hee lips together as she swallows lightly before looking up at me.

"I'm still very much in love you.. and it's been so hard not acting on my feelings for you. I don't ever want you to do anything you don't want, especially because I know you still love Tobin. I just wanted to inform you, that I think distance would help relieve those feelings" She states with sadness in her voice, like it was crushing her as much as it was crushing me. I had grown so close to her all over again, and my heart opened up to her love; with everything she comes with.

"Alex Morgan, I support you in everything you do. If you need distance from all this, I completely understand" I put my hand on her hand to reassure her that I understand. She quickly wipes a tear and smiles at me, with her beautiful blue eyes sparkling from holding tears back. She gets up, and puts the mug in the sink. Watching her leave with urgency, was tearing me apart but I knew that maybe she needed this for herself and I was not going to hold her back. Before she walks down the hallway to exit through the front door. I spoke up

"Alex"

She turns around smoothly but slow.

"I never stopped loving you, my heart was big enough for the both of you at the time.  Even when you broke me, I couldn't pull myself to hate you.. I use to think that maybe you were going through something that I didn't know about, and I was at the expense of your pain. I love Tobin, but I know I'll never be with her again and everytime I look at you.. I can't even come to explain how fortunate I feel to have been with you. You are incredible, and worth everything.. and I one hundred percent know that.. this isn't over between you and i"