Wilder Dreams

Chapter 50

"Answer her Alex!" Allie yells at her. Everyone around us, is waiting for her to answer. We stand waiting for her response.

"I still have feelings for Servando" she tells me looking away from me. I look away from her but I need more then that.

"Yeah and what else?" I ask her, she looks everyone around her embarrassed. I didn't mean to do this to her, just at the wrong place.

"I uh.. I .. cheated on you" she tells me, she starts to cry. In this moment, for once in a very long time. I don't feel good enough.

"I'm sorry" she tells me walking up to me, but step back, and shake my head.

"Please Sage!" She says crying. I'm so hurt right now. I walk away from everyone. I go to the bus and I sit in the back of the bus, and Conner and Savannah walk over to me, and sit by me. Savannah leans on me, on my lap. Conner sits next to me, and I wrap my arm around him. He pulls put the switch out of him backpack.

"Want to play" he asks me smiling, I know he's trying to cheer up. How could I pass on playing with these beautiful children.

"Yeah chubs, let's play" I tell him, we take turns playing on the switch. Savannah isn't much of a gamer but she tried. When we get to the hotel, Conner puts the switch in his backpack. We wait until everyone gets off the bus, and then we get off but not before I grab my gym bag from the seat i was with, when I was with Tobin. We walk off, and we head inside the hotel. We walk up to the room. Carli has something to do after the game, so it's just us for right now. Crap I just remembered.. Carli is going to be so pissed. As soon we get to the hotel room, I want to just break down but the kids are with me. I don't want them to see me cry. Love is so complicated. I sit on the edge of my bed. Conner and Savannah climb on to the bed. There's a knock on the door but I don't want to get up. I have to anyway. I get up and I see Ash at my door. I open the door

"Hey I heard what happened, I wanted to come and see if your okay" she tells me concerned. I let her in, and the kids say hi to her.

"Yeah I'm doing.. great!" I tell her, I would think she would be with Alex right now. We walk to my bed.

"I'm really sorry about what Alex did, it was very wrong and-" I cut her off

"Don't apologize for something you didn't do or have control of" I told her. She wasn't the one I was dating, she wasn't the one who cheated on me.

"Ash I've been cheated on before, so all of this.. isn't new for me. I just didnt think Alex would do that to me. So all I'm really feeling is, was I good enough? And I wasn't. She cheated on me, there must have been something I lacked" I told her, a few tears streaming down my face. What hurts is not feeling enough, and the fact that.. I really believed she was over him. I gave her my trust.. to be broken.

"People make mistakes Sage, and unfortunately we're the ones affected by it. She knows she messed up, it's just hard for someone to admit they did something wrong" she tells me, I feel small arms wrap around me neck. I know Conner and Savannah are hugging me. I really didn't want them to see me this way.

"I need time Ash, I know your trying to convince me to see things her from her view. I'm quite aware that she knows she did wrong. I just wish she would have had self control of the situation.. for not just herself but us. She could have done something, she could have stopped. She could have thought it was wrong, she could have thought about me." I tell Ash, and she has her eyebrow raised. Like she's in thought, that like it's not all about Alex's view and how sorry she must be. Shes speechless.

"I think you should go Ash, not in the bad way I just want to be in my bed watching cartoons with my kids. I don't want what happened in my mind right now" I tell her honestly, she looks at the kids and back at me. She nods and gets up, I walk with her to the door. Once she's out, I close it lightly. I walk back to the bed. I lay in the middle of Conner and Savannah. I turn the TV on, and we lay back.

"I'm be honest with you guys, I might fall asleep. Can you please pass me my phone Savvy so I can put in alarm for when we go out later" I ask her and she leans to the small lamp table for my phone. I put an alarm on my phone and lay back and watch Tom and Jerry with them. 10 mins later, we hear a knock at the door. I sigh and I get up to open it. Not checking who it was. They pull me into a hug so quick I didn't see a face but I recognize the perfume smell. It's my sister.

"Hey M'kay" I tell her whilst hugging her. We pull apart, and she grabs my face.

"Lindsey and Mal told me what happened, I swear when I see Alex I will-"

"Do nothing" I tell my sister as I cut her off. She looks at me sternly

"You are my sister, I will do anything to" I cut her off again

"Your my baby sister, I'm suppose to protect you" I tell her, and we walk into the room, and I close the door. She jumps in the bed to be engulfed in hugs by my kids. I walk over and I lay by them. We cuddle up and watch the cartoons.