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"doctor?" amy pond called to him as she made her way into the center console. he was her best friend, the person she wanted to talk to when she had questions about life.
"amy pond!" he cried, clapping his hands together. "i was thinking today we could-"
"doctor have you ever been in love?" she blurted out before she could stop herself. he came to a complete halt.
physically, his hands stopped moving, and he stopped talking, his whole world stopped moving. everything came crashing down on him with that one single question.
"amy," finally he snapped back to reality, "i'm nine hundred years old, i've been lots of places, seen lots of things, met lots of people, i-"
"what was her name?" amy plopped herself down on the chair she had given a home to in the console room.
"well, amy, you see, the real question is, what is love really? that is the question and that is a question i can answer!" the doctor leapt into action, he began pressing buttons and pulling leavers. "you see, there is a part of your brain that releases certain kinds of chemicals-"
amy chuckled, cutting him off.
"goodnight doctor." she blew him a kiss before trodding off through the tardis to her room. the doctor let out a huge sigh.
only when he was absolutely sure that she was gone did the doctor reached into his pocket and dig out a tattered, folded picture.
it was an old picture, a print out he had acquired on an adventure from a long time ago, and it featured the person who was the reason he had frozen up when amy asked him about love.
rose tyler.
she held the doctors arm and was smiling up at him, laughing at something he'd said with her eyes closed. he was also mid laugh, hand in his pocket, letting her grip onto him for dear life.
he didn't know what to do. a tear slipped from his eye and he wiped it away.
"oh rose." the doctor whispered. he wasn't stupid.
he knew that his time with river was coming, and he knew that eventually he'd have to let go of rose. but he couldn't. he didn't know how to.
without the doctor knowing, hours had passed. he wasn't sure exactly how long, but before he knew it he was walking towards amy's room.
his face was red and puffy from the tears he had cried. he couldn't stop himself from knocking on her door. he wasn't surprised when amy answered.
"doctor what's wrong?" amy asked as she stepped aside to let him in. he was trembling all over, tears welling up in his eyes again.
his mouth opened and closed a few times as if he wanted to speak but couldn't get the words out. instead, he settled for wordlessly handing amy the old photo.
"doctor, who is this?" amy whispered as she gently unfolded the barely intact picture.
"rose." his voice cracked as he said her name, the first time he had spoken her name aloud to someone else. "her name was rose."
"she's beautiful." amy said. there was no judgement in her voice, no pressure to make him speak.
"she was." he whispered. "you were right. i've lived a long, long time. i've met loads of people. but i'd never been in love. not really, not until i was in my 900's."
"is that when you met her?"
"that's when i met her." the doctor whispered. he couldn't bring himself to raise his voice because he knew the tears would return. "that was when i took rose tyler by the hand and told her to run. i blew up her job that day, living plastic."
he chuckled, and amy didn't say anything. she just smiled at him.
"i left her. twice. she's with a human version of me in another dimension now, living out her life. day after day." he smiled at himself, the tears falling. "the one adventure i can never have."
amy had no words. she couldn't say anything, she didn't want to. nothing she could say would be able to make him feel better.
instead, she wrapped her arms around him. the doctor tensed up at first, but realized she was trying to be supportive and finally relaxed into the hug.
"doctor, i'm sorry." amy whispered. "i had no idea."
amy thought she felt his shoulders shrug lightly, and she tried to pull away from him, but the doctor wouldn't let go.
it was then amy realized he wasn't shrugging, he was crying. his shoulders were shaking from his sobs. amy hugged him tighter.
"her name was rose." the doctor choked out. "my rose."
the doctor knew he could never forget her. talking about her helped, and now he could keep her memory alive.
'i love you, rose tyler.' he let himself think the words he had wanted to say back on that beach. 'i'll love you always.'
