Nesert

1.26

Hailey bugged her for details on her conversation with Lt Elliot, but Nes stayed vague.

"It doesn't matter what he said, Hails. He'll never say any of those things again."

"He's a good guy, Nes."

"And that's exactly why he'll never want anything to do with someone like me."

Nes threw herself back into her classes and projects, trying to keep her mind on finals and not on her return to the SGC. Not only would she have to see the change in Elliot's opinion of her, but General Hammond would let her know if the powers that be would grant clearance to her brother.

After a few weeks back, she looked at the calendar to realize that she was due to disappear that weekend, but surprisingly, she didn't feel the need. What she did feel was the residual ache in her bones and muscles from her own experience being tortured. It made her feel weak and listless and she simply didn't have a desire to inflict pain on anyone.

Was that what had been needed? Her last experiences with torture had lengthened the in-between time by small amounts, but she attributed that to her recovery time. This most recent time had been much worse, though, and the recovery much longer.

Once her body was back to normal, she'd have to see if the cravings returned. It may come down to deciding between feeling physically healthy - or mentally healthy. She'd hold out hope that she was maybe just past it, though. Maybe her days of needing screams and pain and death were finally behind her, but if not, she could perhaps convince someone to use the goa'uld pain stick on her periodically. The thought intensified the still present pain, but she tightened her jaw.

She didn't want to be controlled by Sekhmet anymore.

Reading Period again came, followed by final exams and soon, Nes and Hailey were packing up their small house to return to Colorado and the SGC.

Nes' body was beginning to strengthen, but so far, she'd been able to stay focused on her daily tasks, only occasionally thinking of her prior addictions. Their journey back to Cheyenne Mountain seemed far too short for someone who wished to delay it as long as possible, but she soon found herself back under the mountain, organizing the various suitcases and boxes into her small room, wishing she could share with the general about her rather large house here in town. As tiny as their house had been in Princeton, this room was much worse.

General Hammond requested her in his office shortly after she arrived and her nerves resurfaced in full force again.

"Nesert, how'd the rest of your semester go?" She hated the initial chit chat that preceded big news, both good and bad.

"Very well, sir."

"And how are you feeling physically? Fully healed?"

"Yes, sir. I've felt back to my normal self the last few weeks." Normal may not be the right word, but it'd have to do.

"I suppose you're wondering what was decided on your brother." She nodded, but kept silent, scared she'd jinx it somehow. "Cadet James is already on the surface filling out paperwork. He should be heading down in an hour or so."

"I'm sorry? Today? Now?"

"Yes. We already made him stay on an extra week waiting for your arrival. He'll be here through the weekend."

Her voice took on a slight panic. "And what do I say? Just tell him everything? What's he allowed to know? And not know?" Her breathing quickened and she began to dip into Sekhmet's calm.

"Major Carter has volunteered to give him the basics regarding the Stargate program, but you'll be allowed to give him more details about your life specifically."