Nesert

2.2

Nes was back on Revanna, lifeless jaffa surrounding her, but their hands wouldn't stay dead. They kept grabbing at her, fingers twisting around her ankles and legs as she hunted for something. She couldn't remember what, but it was important.

Elliot.

She had to find him. She had to save him. The hands kept pulling on her as she crossed the field, her eyes searching.

And then she saw him.

His sunken eyes stared up at the sky, flashing periodically, but then she could hear his rapid breathing and it got louder as Revanna began to fade away.

Her eyes opened to the dim room she'd fallen asleep in, but the loud breathing didn't fade as the rest of the dream had and she realized Elliot was sitting up next to her. She fought off the fog of sleep and put a hand on his back as she pulled herself over next to him.

"I died today, Nes." His breathing got worse and his hands rubbed his eyes harder and harder.

"Elliot," she kept her voice soothing, "ask Lantash to take over. He'll be able to calm your body quickly."

He looked at her in surprise and she knew it sounded odd after she'd made her disgust for the Tok'ra apparent, but he bowed his head slowly and when it lifted, his eyes flashed and his breathing began to slow. Nes rubbed his back, knowing it was Lantash in control, but that Elliot would still be able to feel it. His head bowed again and Elliot took a deep slow breath.

"Better?" she asked and he nodded. "Sekhmet was always very good at calming me." She let her hand slide up to the nape of his neck, her fingers moving through the short soft hair. "Come over here." She twisted to gather up the various pillows and stack them up against the headboard, scooting herself against them and then guiding Elliot's head down onto her shoulder. "Lantash going back to sleep?"

"Yes. He worked hard today trying to save me. He feels guilty for failing."

"He didn't fail. You two saved the rest of us." She looked down at him and let her hand run through his hair, hoping to lull him back to sleep as well.

It had the opposite effect.

Elliot turned to prop himself up on his elbow, bringing his other hand up to her face. Nes held her breath, knowing she should stop him, but couldn't find enough resistance in her groggy state. He leaned down and kissed her, letting his hand move from her face to her shoulder to her waist, reaching underneath to her back and pulling her upwards to him. Her lips and body responded more desperately than she would have anticipated, all self control gone with exhaustion and the trauma of loss and death.

Elliot shifted his body to cover hers and his hand reached inside her dressing robe searching out her body underneath. Nes snapped awake, breathlessly telling him to stop. She wasn't going to do this and then send him off the next day. Right now she could still pretend that there was nothing between them beyond some light attraction, but if this went on, it would be harder to separate herself from him. She'd already been damaged by too much loss in her life. She wouldn't intentionally create more.

And she wouldn't share these moments with Lantash any more than she'd wanted to share them with Sekhmet.

Elliot rolled off her and stared at the ceiling, breathing hard again. "I didn't mean to get so carried away, Nes. I'm sorry."

"I just can't, Elliot. I meant what I said before...back on Revanna. Someone like you would never be able to tolerate the things I've done."

"I just don't know how to reconcile this version of you with the things Lantash has shared...with the things you say you've done." He rolled onto his side to face her. "How could you have killed five people while at Princeton, Nes?"