A Love Bargain

042: Guilt and remorse

Kachi

Remorse was the word that suited the feelings that welled up in me as I stood gazing at Pearl.

Yet, I couldn't take my longing gaze off her and thank God, she wasn't looking as miserable as I was.

The original plan wasn't to stay in Ibiza for two weeks, but I did, and not for a single moment did I in any way contact her. Or maybe reply to any of her long texts, which ranged from asking that we talk, to if this was who I really was. I remembered a line from her text where she asked if I was seriously ghosting her just like her ex did.

I do not deserve her.

She did not deserve the way I treated her in these past weeks, but the deed had already been done. I was torn apart with doubts in me, which convinced me that Pearl would hurt me just like Vera did.

I was only here to have dinner with James, a dinner that went quite well and a night that had been very relaxing for me, until the moment I set my eyes on her. She was so into hugging her friend that she didn't notice me walk by, and I was so guilt-tripped that my legs paused and couldn't move anymore. The next thing I did was ask James to leave first before my feet carried me to her. I couldn't leave the restaurant without at least talking to her, even though it wasn't the original plan.

Having a conversation with her at a restaurant, where she was hanging out with her friends after two weeks of not seeing her wasn't a good idea but I wanted to so bad, even if all she would do was cuss me out all night. I wouldn't mind that at all.

She was just as stunning as always and my heart still fluttered in her presence, heavily.

I had missed her so much.

"What are you doing here?" The same friend she was with at the club, whose name I couldn't recall spat standing in front of me. But my eyes remained strongly on Pearl and hers, which were filled with surprise and sadness on me.

Neither did I know when her friend got in front of me, nor was she able to get my attention with that one question of hers.

The only word that could describe me right now was unabashed because I felt not a single shame, standing in the presence of Pearl and locking eyes with her.

"Baby," The man on their table, who was richly dressed in a perfectly tailored tuxedo rose to his feet.

But the woman who he was trying to get her attention didn't flinch, she remained in front of me with her arms folded across her chest and her venomous-filled eyes resting on me.

"Babe," He called out again, but this time he was already standing beside her. I directed my attention to them, "I'm sorry about my wife," he smiled, confidently. "Femi," he had his hand out to me.

"What are you apologising for and why do you want to shake hands with him?" His wife said, shoving his hand back to him before turning back to me. "What do you think you are?" The restaurant had not many people in it but we still managed the attract some attention from people that walked past us.

There was no way I was going to create a scene in here.

"Do you think you can walk in and out of her life anytime you want?" She asked but before I could answer, Pearl rose to her feet and my gaze, helplessly fell back on her.

At that moment, Every other thing didn't matter and the voice of her friend had faded away. My longing gaze, on the other hand, licked every single edge and curve of her body.

Her white heels reminded me of the amused look on her face, the day she said my favourite colour. Her short sleeve, V neck orange colour jumpsuit, was fitted down to her hips and then loosened at the rest of her body. A majorly white Ankara fabric was used to design the neckline, and sleeve line of her outfit.