Always Mine {Book 3}| Completed

Chapter 38

I wanna die, I wanna die, I wanna die, I thought to myself. I had ran right back into the house, slamming the door once I was in. I couldn't help but just cry my way once I was inside. I had looked at the pictures that were on our wall.

I knew this was all fake. This was a facade. And this was all nothing but lies. I couldn't look at these pictures without crying now. I had moved every picture frame off the wall and let them crash on the floor. And I walk from it, and I go upstairs to our bedroom and I tear the sheets off and I tear the pillowcases off and I rip every satin fabric along with the decor pillows. I take the vase of flowers and I throw it against the wall letting it land to the wall with a shatter sound to land on the floor smashed into many pieces with the water dripping out into a puddle that the flowers are now swimming in.

I had sobbed out, and I ran into the closet and I threw every shirt of Christopher's on the floor. I ripped every single one and let my anger out, causing the worst possible outcome to cry like a rainstorm. And I had thrown his shoes out of the closet. And I had taken his cologne and threw it on the floor, letting it smash on the floor into a million pieces. I remember doing nothing but wishing I could die at this very moment. I cried so hard that I fell onto the floor.

   I had cried a million times on this floor. And once I cried, the images were still in my head. And all I did was think of how Christopher could just walk away from me so easily, leaving me to cry. I felt angry, frustrated, and sad. Maybe there's more going on with Christopher. He said always and forever. He would always tell me I was his always. He said forever. And here he is, lying and breaking my heart over and over again.

   I had jumped up and I grabbed my suitcase and I started to pack my things up. I couldn't stay here. He can come back over to the mess and clean it up. I had been given the time by packing whatever I needed. And I had done the best by just packing enough in my suitcase and then I had zipped my suitcase up and I had turned off every light. And I brought both of our dogs with me to get in my car. And once I got in the car, both Marshmallow and Pepper were in the back, both excitingly hyper but they remained calm. And then of course, I turned on the radio and Olivia Rodrigo's Driver's License started to play and that's when I started crying even more.

  And your probably with that blonde girl,
who always made me doubt.
She's so much older than me.
She's everything I'm insecure about.
But today I drove through the suburbs
'Cause how could I ever love someone else?

And I know we weren't perfect
but I never felt this way for no one.
And I just can't imagine how you
could be so okay now that I'm gone.
I guess you didn't mean what you
wrote in that song about me.

'Cause you said forever now I drive
alone past your street.

  I sang the lyrics out, practically feeling my heart broken. I had decided on driving to Santa Monica, even this late. And I wondered why Christopher hasn't even called me. If he loved me, wouldn't he actually call me to see if I'm okay or even beg me to be with him. I promised him, I would stop running. And I did. But he gave me no choice tonight. I had to leave because he wanted me to. I wanted him to fight for me. But here he was, not giving a shit if I left crying. He saw me crying and did nothing. He just looked at me like I was nothing to him.

   I still cried, and the tears fell from my eyes being so heartbroken. Is it because he's not in love with me anymore? Is he losing interest in me? Is he in love with another girl that he's met? I would've have preferred if he had cheated on me instead. At least he would have been honest and had guilt for hurting me. But this, he felt nothing. He did nothing. He didn't care about me. He let me leave. He was not sad that I said it was over. It was like he was relieved and so okay with it. Maybe he wanted me to breakup with him. Because the moment he told me to leave, it was as if we were over right from the start.