Always Mine {Book 3}| Completed

Part II: Chapter Twenty Eight

                       E M M A    POV:

     I tried not making it a big deal. I can't always just stop and feel sorry for myself. The whole world is against me it seems. I feel so bewildered and betrayed. I feel as if he's cheating on me. I feel like we're still dating. It feels unreal. And since the new day has started, I feel like I'm nothing but problematic.

   I keep replaying last night in my head. Did I go too far? Did I break Lindsey's nose? Did I do damage to her in front of all of those people? I know I might have gone too far. And I hate myself for it. I had too much pride, that I did everything. And Lindsey is wrong about me, I am not miserable because Christopher is happy with someone else. She doesn't understand the whole situation. She can't possibly understand what I've been through. And for her to bring up my father like that... she was dead wrong. And I think she knew that, or else she wouldn't have mentioned it.

   I felt the need to just try not to get so worried. So I practically begged to go into work. And so I told myself that today was going to be a normal day. And so I woke up at seven in the morning with the worst headache from my stupid hangover. I looked over at my nightstand and found water and some Aspirin. I had known that Victoria had put it there. And just as I sat up in the most excruciating headache came on worse than it already was, and I had remembered about everything that happened last night. Yeah, I was drunk. And I clearly regret it more than anything. And I couldn't believe that I had gotten into a fight with Lindsey. I just can't believe that tomorrow their going to be married. They are going to be a married couple and I'm just the heartbroken one. And last night, Lindsey said all of those awful mean things about me, and he not once defended me knowing about what I had gone through.

I took the aspirin and I had left out of my room wearing my pajamas still. And clearly not caring whatsoever. And immediately, I was terrified, and I had to take over the judgement of anything. But then, I heard the shuffling downstairs. My dogs were at their bowls. And I had reached downstairs to find Victoria in the kitchen with Logan.

This has become a normal routine for me. I have seen them both just giggling together while I saw them in each other's arms. And they both lost what they were doing and looked right at me.

"I'll never find that kind of love." I pointed out, my voice full of misery and sadness as I looked at the both of them.

I went to collect myself some coffee and they had their attention right on me.

"So, how was last night? Did you enjoy yourself?" Victoria crossed her arms, and she already knew about what happened.

How? I clearly don't know.

I started to pour coffee from the pot into my mug. "What do you mean?"

"Getting drunk and going to the wedding rehearsal dinner party last night. And assaulted Lindsey. What were you thinking?" Logan said, and he was judging me, but not because he was angry, but because he was worried for me.

"Yeah Em, that was dumb. You do realize she could press charges, right? Did you not think of that?" Victoria said.

I know I messed that up. And it's all just coming to my mind now. I'm still processing it. And to be honest, it's still on my mind every movement I take, it's still wrapping around my mind. And I'm trying to maybe feel nothing but guilt because that's all I feel. And I think to myself, wondering if I should go there to Lindsey and Christopher and maybe just apologize. But, I literally cannot understand anything else. I can't understand how I could've let myself walk to that venue drunk and literally verbally abuse Christopher and Lindsey that way. And then... I had the chance to remember my conversation with Christopher last night. And it was sad, heartbreaking and just deep emotions.