Always Mine {Book 3}| Completed

Part II: Chapter Twenty

E M M A POV:

        We were riding in my mom's car. I was in the backseat, and Gavin was in the front passenger side and mom was driving. I was in the backseat, my arm outside the opened window, as I felt the wind hitting onto my hand as it flowed out the window. The air was nice, and steady but cool.

There was a country song that was playing on the radio. I took a quick glimpse and noticed Gavin holding my mom's hand. And I smiled at their happiness. And there they were, being so happy, sweet, and loving. Maybe I craved what they had. And here I was, returning home in a car ride from San Antonio back to Santa Monica. And I had my eyes just opened at everything along the way. I had looked at every car or vehicle that passed by us.

I was telling myself that life gets better. Life gets easier. But how would this get any easier? I looked down at my wrist, and I saw the scar. And now it's a reminder that I would do anything to protect the people I love. And I wasn't expecting anything. And immediately I was looking forward to going back home, and I can listen to my music, and create a baking obsession. And I was ready to start over and not return back to the life that was so miserable. And I know if my dad were alive, he'd want to see me happy. So I'm gonna do what he would want. I'm gonna do the rightful part for myself that I've been trying to tell myself for months, is that I need to do the best things in life that can be so divine. My life turned into a tornado. But it's time that the struggle is to end, and I'm to just move forward very quickly.

We stopped at a few red lights and then I noticed the Santa Monica pier, and I saw how beautiful it was. And of course, the drive was quiet except that there was music playing in the car. And I had rolled the window up and I moved forward, being close in between the passenger and driver's seat.

"Mom, Gavin, is it okay if we stop at the cemetery? Only for like five minutes. That's all I need." I was pleading, my voice soft, and wanting no complaints.

"Sure." Mom and Gavin both replied.

I sat back completely now, smiling to myself. I looked in my journal of everything I wrote down over these past three months. And I was not looking forward for anything else right now. And we had continued driving off towards the parking lot to the cemetery and I had seen the chapel sign. I had smiled, and then I had gotten out.

"I just need five minutes. Alone." I looked at mom, telling her and she nodded.

"Okay. We'll be here, waiting."

I had turned away from the car and I walked down these concrete stairs that led down to every the graveyard full of headstones. I walked in peace. I was silent. And I thought of how I can take this with happiness. But I certainly had a hard time to stay patiently.

I walked down every step of the way. I watched and saw many graves in front of me. Some were big and some were just grave plates. But I came across a few headstones that were big. And others that were like veteran graves. I went to the place where my dad was buried. He was buried right next to his brother, Freddie. I saw my dad's big headstone. It read: in memory of a loving son, father, husband, friend. November 11, 1978- February 23, 2022.

I sobbed once I saw my dad's name appear. Edward Joseph James. I couldn't help but cry. I needed to release this again. I knew that somehow it was about time. But I didn't think that I would ever be in this place visiting my dad. I didn't ever think I would be visiting him this early in my life. And now that I see the headstone that is pure concrete and I can see him at one place, which is right here. And I absolutely know that my dad is the one person, that I can actually stay close to very emotionally and spiritually.