Always Mine {Book 3}| Completed

Part II: Chapter Twenty-Two

EMMA's OUTFIT ⬆️:

             C H R I S T O P H E R   POV:

     I wake up to a ping sound and it's coming from my phone. I look and have baby Leo asleep on my chest as I'm lying on my bed and I find Lindsey sleeping next to me. And I carefully get up, holding Leo in my arms and I had brought Leo with me downstairs and I placed him in the playpen and of course, I was expecting Lara Jean to show up. And since it's like seven in the morning I knew I had to go take out Leo's baby formula and I knew exactly how it work's apparently by watching my younger cousins at a young age.

   So after I was finish setting it up, I gave Leo his bottle and I even thought of feeding him but I'm sure Lara Jean would be over here any second. And afterwards, I had changed Leo's diaper and then put him into a new onesie. And of course, I had seen the letters all across the coffee table. I barely got through three letters more that I wrote. And so I had just remained calm, and I placed Leo on my lap, and I took out another letter that I wrote. It's dated November first, 2019.

   My Dearest Tulip,

      I will say it's been two months since you've been gone. And I sometimes can't breathe, not knowing if you are okay. And I miss you more than life itself. And I'm willing to do anything to hear your voice again. I miss it. And I miss you. I'm not even sure if I'm okay.

   I have just moved into an apartment here in San Francisco. It was my grandmother's idea. And it's nice. It's a two bedroom apartment. And I'm now working at this restaurant that I find okay I guess. And I'm trying to go to classes, because college is a huge part of my life I guess I should say. And I'm reading Wuthering Heights and I think of you. I read Emma by Jane Austen and I think of you.

   I sometimes dream of you. And then I wake to find myself hurt in disappointment that you weren't really here. And lately, I been being dragged to college parties which I guess is just fine. But everywhere I go I see your face. And I have been told by everyone to move on. And I keep telling them that I can't because I'm so much in love with you still. And I don't care what your dad or my mom thinks. I know love because I can actually feel it.

   I only dream of the day to see your face when you get out. And the moment I see you, I will kiss you right in front of everybody. And again, I don't care what our parents think. And I don't think they understand us. They don't realize how special a certain love is when your like this.

I know that people can say and do crazy things when they're in love so deeply and passionately that it drives them mad everywhere. And I'm very much aware of it. And I'm okay with waiting a hundred years for you. They are nobodies. These people at school, the parties I'm always dragged to. It isn't fun or normal. And I'm sorry but I just can't live if your not in it.

I always knew you would be my happiness from the start. You once told me when we first met there was this spark. Like a sort of electricity. And you said, it was a strong connection. And you said right then and there you knew I was yours. And now I feel it too. The electricity. And I know now you were always meant to be mine. And that's why I'm so madly in love with you.

Maybe I'm a little selfish. Maybe I'm a little obsessive. But for some reason I just can't move on let you go. Ever. Not now or ever. And I hope I can hold your hand someday.

And I want you. And I miss you.
And I love you.

Love, your Kit.

After I was finished with that letter I folded it up, and I placed it down on the coffee table and that's when I lied back into the sofa and I sighed out, trying to process all of it. And I partly hated myself because I wrote all of that. And I can see clear as day it's my handwriting. Maybe if I could get my memory back maybe I might see things differently.